Friday {in focus} ~ Rest in Hope

O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;

You maintain my lot.

The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;

Yes, I have a good inheritance.

I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel;

My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.

I have set the Lord always before me;

Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.

Therefore my heart is glad,

and my glory rejoices;

My flesh will also rest in hope.

For You will not leave my soul in Sheol,

Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.

 You will show me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

~ Psalm 16:5-11 (emphasis mine)

In the Midst of It...Praying Through the Wait

This morning, I struggle with the wait. I'm in the midst of it...the middle of not knowing. The anxiety of unanswered questions. The depression that follows the anxiety, pushing on the door of my heart, wanting to barge in and take control.

It's never easy - the not knowing. We all suffer from it at one time or another. For me, it's not knowing where or when we'll be moving on to the next project, yet knowing it's going to be sometime in the next month or two. And it will probably be a short notice. For some, it's not knowing where the money will come from before your electricity gets shut off or your house goes into foreclosure. For others, it's not knowing if the loved one will ever come out of the coma, be healed of the cancer, or overcome the addiction. For someone else, it's not knowing if the adoption will fall through or come through. At one point or another in our lives, we all face it.

But, how do we deal with not knowing? What do we do with this anxious knot in the pit of our stomach that threatens to push its way out through our eyeballs?

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

Be anxious for nothing. Easier said than done, for sure. Especially if you're an emotional woman. This morning, I am certainly anxious. I have to continue to remind my brain {and my heart} that God is in control. This is out of my control. God must be the only one who knows what's to come, because even the managerial staff can't tell my husband (and themselves) what's to come. So, why should I be anxious?

I give it back to God through my prayers and supplications. Today, they sound like this:

Lord, take this anxiety away from me. I do not want depression. I do not want an attack. I want peace, Lord. The peace You give. That peace that passes all of my understanding. The peace that says, "I have it all under control, child. Rest in Me today." Please give me that peace, Lord. I am thankful for my husband's job. In a day where there are so many unemployed, I am extremely grateful for Your abundant provision, Lord. You are marvelous in Your works. Thank You, Jehovah Jireh! Lord, could You please bring closure? Could you please bring a good word to the sick hearts of the men on this job, who are waiting to find out where they are going next and when? Could you please provide answers soon? We know Your timing is perfect; our hearts are waning, Lord. We seek closure. We seek the next move. We seek the next phase of work, Lord. These are our humble requests. And while we wait on Your perfect timing, please guard our hearts and minds. Help us to dwell on those things that are true and of good report. Help us to consider those things we praise You for today - like a job, a healthy family, a roof over our heads, and food on our tables. We honor You, Lord. Amen.

I wrangle my thoughts and bring them to Jesus. He is my Provider in my time of need. He is my Salvation from the thoughts that try to overtake me. He is my Rock on which I stand in the midst of the storms of life. I will choose to worship Him today, despite my circumstances or situation.

Consider your anxiety today. Be anxious for nothing. Give it back to God and let Him handle it. He's got it all under control, friend. Let Him know what you wish for Him to do and then let Him take care of you. Thank Him. And enjoy your day. Tomorrow has its own worries...

Persevering in Undecided Times

My husband works in the construction industry. When he was a union carpenter, it could be feast or famine. Now, he's salaried, and we know he'll receive a paycheck every week.

Women look at me almost every day and say, "How do you do it? I don't think I could."

My secret? I don't think I can, either. Not on my own, anyway.

Photo Courtesy of Frieda Suess

"If you faint in the day of adversity,
Your strength is small."
~ Proverbs 24:10

There are days I want to fling myself onto my bed, cry a pool of tears and forget that I have four children needing my attention in the living room. There are days I'd like to pack my house up, put it all in storage and demand my husband buy a fifth-wheel we can pull behind the Yukon to every new job site. There are days I dream of him finding a career in which we can plant ourselves in a home and watch our children graduate from the school they attended in first grade through their senior year.

But that's not the story God is writing in our life. God is writing a story similar to His own:

"Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head." ~ Matthew 8:20 

As we travel from place-to-place, I have to remember that this world is not my home. My home is in eternity with Christ. This place to lay my head is only temporary. Just like the next move.

"The lot is cast into the lap,
But its every decision is from the Lord."
~ Proverbs 16:33

I've had to learn to trust God with the decisions my husband makes concerning our family and our travels. I've learned that we, as humans, make mistakes, and sometimes it feels like God has moved out of the picture, or we've chosen to stay put. I've learned that we make our plans, but God makes the final decision. He opens the doors and closes them.

I rely on God to be my Strength, my Rock, my Shield and my Go-To-Guy. It's through His grace that I make it through the next day, and the next and the next. I couldn't do it without Christ.

Could you?

Motherhood Musings

School started and football season is in full-swing. The lazy days of summer are over, and life is busy once again.

In the midst of busy days, I find myself questioning my parenting. Am I doing a good job? Am I honoring God with my decisions concerning my children? Am I missing out on anything? Am I focused enough on my children? Am I overwhelmed? Are they overwhelmed?

Here is what I've discovered in the weeks of questioning my abilities as a mother:

1. I can't do it all. And that's okay. God doesn't expect us to take on more than we can handle. I may not be Suzy homemaker who brings cupcakes to school for her child's birthday. I may not be the best fundraiser. But my children are participating, and I'm blessed to watch them play football or their instrument of choice. That's what counts.

2. Sometimes, I have to let go and let God. So often I want to be in control of things I have no control over. Case in point: My middle son. He's having a difficult time exercising self-control. It's half the reason I put him in football. I am hoping that the aggression of the sport will help him learn to control his aggression outside of the sport. He struggles with respect for others. 

And I tend to take too much of the blame for that on myself. Did I not teach him well enough? Have I not disciplined him enough? Have I disciplined him too much? Am I going at him all wrong? Am I blind to something?

What I am slowly learning is that I am not to blame for his actions or words. He is. He's entered the age of accountability. He knows Jesus. He knows about respect, honor, love, and kindness. He's been hearing it since he came out of my womb. I can't change his inner workings. Only God can do that. I can point him in right directions. I can teach him techniques to tame his temper. But only God can do the work in him that will change his life. I cannot take responsibility for his decisions. He must. So tonight, he'll be running some extra laps at football, since he ran circles around his siblings all weekend. Maybe he won't get to play in tomorrow's game after disrespectfully speaking to me and a friend of mine over the course of the weekend. But he'll learn sooner or later that his actions have consequences, whether he likes them or not. In the meantime, I can rest assured I've done all God has called me to do in his life. And I will continue to do those things with prayer and hope that he will grow into a mighty man of God who knows how to control his actions and words.

3. I will not keep rescuing them from their own choices or mistakes. I know this in my knower, but sometimes my heart for my children prevails. Three of my four children have come home with demerits within the first month of school. Fortunately for them, they never go beyond the typical unprepared (I forgot to sign their agendas) or talking. However, I've stopped trying to save them from their lack of attention when packing their book bags, which has lead to forgetting math books or assignment sheets. I will not return to the school to pick up forgotten materials. I will not clean up their messy rooms for them. And they will do their chores. They will learn to take responsibility for themselves and their belongings.

These are a few of the concerns I've dealt with since school started again. Our schedule is quite busy, and I have to be careful not to run myself or them down. We need our energies for the daily tasks we face. Some days are smoother than others, but I'm discovering even more how true it is that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us - including motherhood. It's time to stop beating ourselves up for our supposed short-comings and to look to God with whom all things are possible. 

Proverbs 13 - Heart Sick

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
 But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."
 ~ Proverbs 13:12  

I sat across the desk from my pastor's wife, crying. My dreams fell apart around me. Life looked depressing to me. I'd lost hope in several areas of my life.

I had my health, but that was about it.

My marriage continued along its bumpy path. Being a stepparent wasn't easy. I struggled trying to figure out that gray line that continued to blur. How much authority did I have? Not enough, in my opinion. So I kept trying to make it work for everyone without stepping on toes. I consistently walked on broken glass, wondering when Vic might snap again. This wasn't what I'd dreamed of when I said, "I do." I determined not to let it tear my relationship with my husband apart.

We'd made the decision I would stay home with the children while Vic worked when I was pregnant with Ezra. Being home with the children had been fantastic. I loved having the ability to do so. But finances were always tight, because union carpenters get laid off when jobs are completed. We were always digging out of a hole from unemployment periods. I wanted to help with the finances without leaving home to work. Yet, whatever I put my hand to do, Vic didn't support it. He said I pursued my hobbies, not a career. It's too bad I couldn't make more money. I started wondering if he really meant it when he said I could stay home. 

I tired from the daily duties of raising four knee-cap kids and a stepson who'd become a teenager. I didn't have much help around the house. Vic pitched in every once in awhile, when I asked him to. He worked hard all day in the freezing cold of winter or the sizzling heat of summer, so I tried not to expect too much from him. But my love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation, so I found my "love tank" empty most days. Pouring out and pouring out with little put back in, I ran dry.

Nan looked across her desk at me and said, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes it is a tree of life. Your heart is sick. Your hope has been deferred." 

I'd never read that Proverb in that light before. I recognized the disease of hopelessness in my heart the moment she said the words. God spoke that day.

Do you feel depressed? Insecure? Lonely? Tired? Frustrated? Agitated? Like you want to give up, throw the towel in, or walk out? I've been there.

Today, my marriage is strong, like that tree of life. My kids are healthy and happy (as much as children can be) and full of life. My relationship with my stepson is sound and mature (he is going to be 21 next month, after all). 

What changed? How did I get through to see my heart's desires come to pass?

I took it to God. I prayed for forgiveness for my own selfishness. I prayed for peace of heart and mind. I asked him to make the changes in me that needed to be made. If I need to be stronger, give me strength, Lord. If I need to be compassionate, give me Your compassion. If I need to let go, give me the will to let go and give it to you, God. If I need to see things differently, give me Your eyes, Lord. I turned to Jesus.

I loosened the reigns I had on our step-family situation. I heeded more to my husband's desires for his son. I let him go to friends' houses more. I didn't sit on him while he did or didn't do his homework. I let him learn that his choices had consequences. He wasn't mine, after all. I didn't need to raise him as much as I felt I did. His parents could do that just fine. If neither of them were available to consult, as long as he was out of harm's way, I let him do what he pleased. As long as it didn't affect my children.


I put my husband first at the end of the day. Rather than running all over the house after the childrens' felt needs, I sat on the couch and scratched his head. Giving him the attention he needed helped. A lot.  

God moved us a few years ago. Took us out of our comfort zone and sent us on the road for Vic's work. Honestly, I think it's the best thing that's ever happened to us. Change, as dramatic as it was, has been good for us. It brought us closer together as a family. It gave Zach the freedom he needed at eighteen.

One morning, as I sat reading the Word of God, I had a light bulb moment. I realized we didn't argue as often, we communicated more, and our rough spots seemed a bit smoother. I realized Vic treated me differently. God had moved us out of our comfort zone into His more comfortable zone. Our marriage stood on solid ground. 

And life happened in abundance. My desires were coming to pass. I found myself asking God another morning, "Well, what do I ask for now? You've granted my heart's desires from last season. What new life do I want to see on my tree next year?" 

A little over a year ago, God introduced another of my desires back into my life. Writing. I've found a career that I can do from home, even though my children are all now school-aged and away during the day. When summer comes around, I'll still be able to be home with them. My husband now understands that my passions and my talents are creative, and not just a hobby, but a way to bring income into our household. I love what I do, and I thank God for making a way for me to succeed in it. It's all for His glory, anyway.

So if you find yourself desiring more in life, wondering what happened to your hopes and dreams, and felling a little less than what you know you're worth, take it to God and say goodbye to hopelessness. 

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1) Put your faith in God, the One who can bring those things you hope for to pass. Look for the evidence of your faith as He causes them to be...

Photo Copyright 2011 Alycia W. Morales