Persevering in Undecided Times

My husband works in the construction industry. When he was a union carpenter, it could be feast or famine. Now, he's salaried, and we know he'll receive a paycheck every week.

Women look at me almost every day and say, "How do you do it? I don't think I could."

My secret? I don't think I can, either. Not on my own, anyway.

Photo Courtesy of Frieda Suess

"If you faint in the day of adversity,
Your strength is small."
~ Proverbs 24:10

There are days I want to fling myself onto my bed, cry a pool of tears and forget that I have four children needing my attention in the living room. There are days I'd like to pack my house up, put it all in storage and demand my husband buy a fifth-wheel we can pull behind the Yukon to every new job site. There are days I dream of him finding a career in which we can plant ourselves in a home and watch our children graduate from the school they attended in first grade through their senior year.

But that's not the story God is writing in our life. God is writing a story similar to His own:

"Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head." ~ Matthew 8:20 

As we travel from place-to-place, I have to remember that this world is not my home. My home is in eternity with Christ. This place to lay my head is only temporary. Just like the next move.

"The lot is cast into the lap,
But its every decision is from the Lord."
~ Proverbs 16:33

I've had to learn to trust God with the decisions my husband makes concerning our family and our travels. I've learned that we, as humans, make mistakes, and sometimes it feels like God has moved out of the picture, or we've chosen to stay put. I've learned that we make our plans, but God makes the final decision. He opens the doors and closes them.

I rely on God to be my Strength, my Rock, my Shield and my Go-To-Guy. It's through His grace that I make it through the next day, and the next and the next. I couldn't do it without Christ.

Could you?

A Bad Case of the Grumpies

Photo Courtesy of Steve Ford Elliott

I stepped out of the elementary school building, three kids in tow. Hoping for a peaceful afternoon after a few stressful days, I stopped short as my youngest son started in.

"I want ice cream," he stated in his whiniest voice. And didn't stop. Until two hours later. When Mom buckled and bought ice cream to satisfy her son's desire and her need for peace and quiet.

Meanwhile, my daughter decided she wanted to be sassy. She quipped several sentences out, meant to irritate anyone nearby. Brothers. Mom. The air around her...

I'd been substituting four days in a row and needed some quiet time. I've been taking care of my children while my husband works in Indiana - since mid-August. I haven't had a break from kids. Well, maybe twice, but when there's four of them and I have no one to help me handle all of their ups and downs each day, it doesn't seem like much. And the neighbor kids love to come to my house after school, which is fine with me. But I recognize my need for some me time in the midst of daily life with children.

While pondering this, I've come to a resounding compassion for single mothers. Working full time. Running kids to football practice. And birthday parties. And church events. Shopping with kids hanging from the cart, the shelves, and the bars they put at the edges of the cold item displays in the middle of the dairy and meat sections. Dinner. Showers. Nighttime prayers. And cries for Daddy. My heart goes out to you. I don't know how you do it without breaking.

At least I still have my husband. He may be miles away and only accessible by phone, but his children can hear his voice. They know he's still there for them. They get to see him once a month when he flies down to visit. And one day soon, we'll be reunited again.

The second thing I've realized in the midst of this ordeal is how often I tend to lean toward a bad case of the grumpies. How often do I find myself muttering to God under my breath? I can't do this anymore. Why do we have to be apart? Why so long? When will this end? Why can't they stop whining? When do I get a break, Lord? 

And then I realize: I still have a husband. My children are all healthy and in their right minds. We have a roof over our head, despite the continual issues with our furnace and our toilets. We have food on our table, even if it's only cereal, sandwiches, and pasta while we run two households. I have a good substitute teaching position. And we are blessed.

God is always with us, no matter how near or far our loved ones are. He promises to never leave us nor forsake us. He holds us close. I took comfort in the following Psalm this morning as I thought once again on my current circumstance. I hope you find comfort in it, too.

Psalm 121

I will lift up my eyes to the hills -

From whence comes my help?

My help comes from the Lord,

Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;

He who keeps you will not be moved;

He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel

Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;

The Lord is your shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,

Nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;

He shall preserve your soul.

The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in

From this time forth, and even forevermore.