I admit I found myself a little skeptical as I dove into this novel by Angela Hunt. I've always admired her writing, her strong female characters and her settings. However, I wasn't sure I liked these women. Not until the final quarter of the novel.
We start off with Ginger, the eldest of three sisters. Happily married to Michael, she's successful at what she does. And she's a bit of a control freak.
Then we meet Rosemary, who is melancholy and pitiful. Suffering the loss of two children prior to their births, she remains in mourning longer than the average person. She's a bit suicidal.
Finally, we meet Pennyroyal, the third of the sister trio. Penny is unhappily married to her nth husband, and we run into her story as she eyes her potential getaway man. She's quite the adulteress.
Despite the girls' flaws, their beloved Grandmother has passed away and left them a cottage of memories to clear out. The realtor needs to close the sale, so the ladies head off to the place they've avoided returning to and discover a few things about their heritage and themselves.
What intrigues me most about The Fine Art of Insincerity is that the entire novel is written in first person point of view and present tense. Not an easy thing for a novelist to pull off, especially not as well as Angela Hunt accomplishes it.
I couldn't put it down, despite my brewing discontent with the characters and their attitudes toward life and the choices they made. At the end, all is not well, but all is worth living for. Which makes this a book worth reading.
To purchase your copy, please visit:
CBD
Barnes & Noble
Amazon
I have a small amount of business I must take care of before sharing today's post. I have taken a substitute teaching position this fall, which is slightly interfering with my blogging schedule. I will do my best to maintain a three-posts-per-week schedule, but I can't guarantee what time the posts will come those days. Any book reviews will post on Thursdays unless I am required to post them on a particular date. It is my priority to maintain my blog posts and to meet your expectations as my readers. I hope you will continue on with me!
Now, on to today's post:
My husband took a week of his vacation time to spend with our children this past week while I flew to New Mexico for a writers conference. Upon my return, I had precious little time with him. Approximately 40 hours or so. What I wasn't expecting was how emotional I would be, knowing I didn't have much time with him.
My dad sent me a message via facebook. He opened it with, "I hope you're surviving husband withdrawal." Husband withdrawal is one of the toughest things I've ever had to deal with. My longing to be with the one I love is intense at times, bringing me to my knees in tears, heaving sobs heavenward.
While on a recent trip to Myrtle Beach for a women's conference, I found myself dreaming about that longing on Friday night. Here's how my dream went:
Close-up shot: I stood, facing an attractive man who tried to gain my attentions, maybe even my affections. I could pay him no attention, though, because I kept looking over his shoulder, toward the horizon, watching for my husband, longing for his arrival. Somehow I knew he would be coming for me, but it wasn't time yet, apparently.
A slightly more distant shot: I am now standing with the same man in front of me, still vying for my affections. Only now, we're in a small crowd of people. Maybe in a restaurant or a small town square or someplace similar. There are several people. He is still trying to get me to pay attention to him, but my heart is still longing for my husband. It is an intense longing, and I am now searching for him amidst the crowd, looking to the horizon one more time. By now I feel almost in a panic, but I know he's coming for me. I just can't see him, yet.
I wake up. I'm near tears, and my heart is extremely heavy, weighted down with this deep longing. I decide I need some time alone with God to deal with my emotional state. As I begin to write out my dream in my journal, it dawns on me. This deep longing I have, this searching, this looking to the horizon. It's a physical description of a spiritual truth. We, as Christians, should have this longing and desire to see our Beloved Savior returning on the horizon. My heart should ache for Jesus' return as much, if not more, than it does for my earthly husband's.
And this morning, I found this scripture in my daily reading:
"Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
~ Psalm 73:25-26
My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. When I face trials and tribulations, challenges to my faith and my life here on earth, I only need to remember that God is my Strength and my Portion forever and ever. Be encouraged today. Look to God to be all you need to face today. Find your strength and your peace in Him. After all, there is none upon earth that we should desire beside Him first and foremost. Let His love overwhelm you today, replacing your worries and heartaches.
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."
~ Proverbs 13:12
I sat across the desk from my pastor's wife, crying. My dreams fell apart around me. Life looked depressing to me. I'd lost hope in several areas of my life.
I had my health, but that was about it.
My marriage continued along its bumpy path. Being a stepparent wasn't easy. I struggled trying to figure out that gray line that continued to blur. How much authority did I have? Not enough, in my opinion. So I kept trying to make it work for everyone without stepping on toes. I consistently walked on broken glass, wondering when Vic might snap again. This wasn't what I'd dreamed of when I said, "I do." I determined not to let it tear my relationship with my husband apart.
We'd made the decision I would stay home with the children while Vic worked when I was pregnant with Ezra. Being home with the children had been fantastic. I loved having the ability to do so. But finances were always tight, because union carpenters get laid off when jobs are completed. We were always digging out of a hole from unemployment periods. I wanted to help with the finances without leaving home to work. Yet, whatever I put my hand to do, Vic didn't support it. He said I pursued my hobbies, not a career. It's too bad I couldn't make more money. I started wondering if he really meant it when he said I could stay home.
I tired from the daily duties of raising four knee-cap kids and a stepson who'd become a teenager. I didn't have much help around the house. Vic pitched in every once in awhile, when I asked him to. He worked hard all day in the freezing cold of winter or the sizzling heat of summer, so I tried not to expect too much from him. But my love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation, so I found my "love tank" empty most days. Pouring out and pouring out with little put back in, I ran dry.
Nan looked across her desk at me and said, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes it is a tree of life. Your heart is sick. Your hope has been deferred."
I'd never read that Proverb in that light before. I recognized the disease of hopelessness in my heart the moment she said the words. God spoke that day.
Do you feel depressed? Insecure? Lonely? Tired? Frustrated? Agitated? Like you want to give up, throw the towel in, or walk out? I've been there.
Today, my marriage is strong, like that tree of life. My kids are healthy and happy (as much as children can be) and full of life. My relationship with my stepson is sound and mature (he is going to be 21 next month, after all).
What changed? How did I get through to see my heart's desires come to pass?
I took it to God. I prayed for forgiveness for my own selfishness. I prayed for peace of heart and mind. I asked him to make the changes in me that needed to be made. If I need to be stronger, give me strength, Lord. If I need to be compassionate, give me Your compassion. If I need to let go, give me the will to let go and give it to you, God. If I need to see things differently, give me Your eyes, Lord. I turned to Jesus.
I loosened the reigns I had on our step-family situation. I heeded more to my husband's desires for his son. I let him go to friends' houses more. I didn't sit on him while he did or didn't do his homework. I let him learn that his choices had consequences. He wasn't mine, after all. I didn't need to raise him as much as I felt I did. His parents could do that just fine. If neither of them were available to consult, as long as he was out of harm's way, I let him do what he pleased. As long as it didn't affect my children.
I put my husband first at the end of the day. Rather than running all over the house after the childrens' felt needs, I sat on the couch and scratched his head. Giving him the attention he needed helped. A lot.
God moved us a few years ago. Took us out of our comfort zone and sent us on the road for Vic's work. Honestly, I think it's the best thing that's ever happened to us. Change, as dramatic as it was, has been good for us. It brought us closer together as a family. It gave Zach the freedom he needed at eighteen.
One morning, as I sat reading the Word of God, I had a light bulb moment. I realized we didn't argue as often, we communicated more, and our rough spots seemed a bit smoother. I realized Vic treated me differently. God had moved us out of our comfort zone into His more comfortable zone. Our marriage stood on solid ground.
And life happened in abundance. My desires were coming to pass. I found myself asking God another morning, "Well, what do I ask for now? You've granted my heart's desires from last season. What new life do I want to see on my tree next year?"
A little over a year ago, God introduced another of my desires back into my life. Writing. I've found a career that I can do from home, even though my children are all now school-aged and away during the day. When summer comes around, I'll still be able to be home with them. My husband now understands that my passions and my talents are creative, and not just a hobby, but a way to bring income into our household. I love what I do, and I thank God for making a way for me to succeed in it. It's all for His glory, anyway.
So if you find yourself desiring more in life, wondering what happened to your hopes and dreams, and felling a little less than what you know you're worth, take it to God and say goodbye to hopelessness.
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1) Put your faith in God, the One who can bring those things you hope for to pass. Look for the evidence of your faith as He causes them to be...
Photo Copyright 2011 Alycia W. Morales
