Book Review: Sparkly Green Earrings by Melanie Shankle

Warning: Do not drink anything while reading this book. You'll be reading, and all of a sudden, in the middle of a paragraph, you'll bust out laughing.

I loved reading Sparkly Green Earrings. Melanie Shankle brings humor and nuggets of simple wisdom into the topic of motherhood. Her writing is honest and real. 

If she and I lived next door to one another, we'd be best friends (and so would our husbands). Oh how much to have in common! I think the only thing I didn't have in common with her is the number of kids we have. (She has one. I have four plus one.)

I highly recommend this memoir. By the time you finish reading, you'll be saying, "Oh. So I'm NOT the only one." And it'll be a book you'll pick up again and again just to remind yourself that.

Here's a peek at her back cover copy:

It's not easy, but someone has to do it (written in sparkly green cursive - classic!). Okay, Y'all. Here' the thing about motherhood. Before I had a child of my own, it was super easy. I had a lot of opinions about the right way to discipline, the way my child would dress, and how she would never throw a fit in public or embarrass me at the grocery store. I also believed the entire experience would be sweet and clean and beautiful, like one of those baby lotion commercials. (Bless my heart.)

Want to read more? Find your dose of Mother's Day humor here:
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Parenting Tips: How to Avoid Phone Call Interruptions

Photo Courtesy of Sanja Gjenero

This afternoon, I met one of my online friends over the phone. Knowing this would be an important call and wanting no interruptions, I decided to take the call out to my Yukon.

For the first couple of minutes, none of my four children ran out of the house to complain, ask a question, or report the misbehavior of a fellow sibling. I smiled and relaxed as I enjoyed the conversation.

The peace and quiet couldn't last forever, so when I noticed my twelve year old heading for the door I relaxed behind, I hit the automatic lock button. This conversation would not be interrupted for momentary insanity. I knew his questions and complaints could wait; blood didn't trickle from any of his limbs or his head.

Little did I know that when one uses the automatic lock button without the keys, one is permanently locked into the vehicle. After enjoying half an hour of adult conversation, I pressed the end call button on my cell phone and smiled. I sighed with relief, knowing I'd gotten thirty minutes of mommy quiet time, and I reached for the unlock button on the door to my vehicle. Needless to say, I wasn't going anywhere at that particular moment in time. I was permanently locked into the Yukon.

Don't snort your coffee out of your nose or pee your pants with laughter just yet. (I would have done either of those if I had coffee or needed to use the restroom...) Fortunately, my daughter was playing outside and heard me wildly knocking on the windshield. She obeyed (for once) when I beckoned her over to me. She smiled big when I told her I was locked in and asked her to retrieve the keys from my purse inside the house. I am pleased to say she didn't take vengeance and leave me locked in the truck all night. She bounded back thirty seconds later to release me from my mommy-thought-she-was-sneaky spot.

Note to self: Always take the keys with you when you want to lock yourself away from the world. Because you're at someone else's mercy to set you free, if you don't.