Checking My Pulse

Photo Copyright 2011 Alycia W. Morales

I spent the weekend at a women's conference in Myrtle Beach, SC. I enjoyed a time of refreshing at the beach, listening to the ocean, and recognizing how vast God is. 

Just when I think I know Him, He shows me another side of His glory. Just when I think I've seen everything there is to see on the beach, something new washes ashore. Just when I think I've got life all figured out, God reveals another facet, and I have to stop to examine myself in His reflection.

My pastor's wife and I were walking down the beach, discussing the conference and the weekend. As we looked at the variety of seashells washed ashore, I offered recommendations as to how the conference could improve. It always brings me a time of refreshing, but this year I found myself wanting more. And getting tired of two hours of worship each session. And wishing they'd put a time frame on the speaker's message. And wishing they'd ask the speakers to join the music ministry so we could actually hear a word during their time of speaking ministry. Instead of worshiping some more.

Do I dislike worship? Absolutely not. I love worship. I understand that I am created to worship. I understand that worship brings me into a place of intimacy with the Lord.

However, I can worship anytime, anyplace. And when I attend a conference, I want to hear the word of God. I want to receive a message just for me. I want a spiritual refreshing. I want to hear a speaker. And I wasn't getting that this time. Last year, yes. This year, not so much. 

I could hear the disappointment in my voice as I proclaimed my ideas on how they could improve their conference. And then it hit me. 

"Am I too critical?" I asked her.

"Yes."

And I quieted my heart, my mind, and my mouth. And we kept walking in silence. Sometimes, a friend will be honest and tell you something about yourself you might not want to hear. I know mine did. And I love her for it. And I've been considering what she said ever since. Because God spoke more to me through her in one short minute than He did through the speakers the entire weekend. 

I've asked Him to reveal if I have a critical spirit, or if I have an innate talent to see what is lacking and can be improved. Do I criticize people? Or am I critical of things? Are my expectations too high? Am I putting my own agenda above His? These are all things I'm considering and will continue to think about until He reveals the answers. And I will try my hardest not to be critical of others, because a critical spirit leaves no room for mercy.

In the meantime, I'll also try not to be too critical of myself. Which is what I am. I recognize my own deficits and continually try to improve, but beat myself up when I don't. Or when I slack off. Or when I know I need to do something, but I just don't feel up to it today... 

Which leads me to you, my readers. I've been analyzing why I write and what I want to accomplish with my writing. My top goal in writing is to minister to the hearts of women. I want to write about life issues we all deal with. I want my readers to walk away with a knowledge that you are not alone; other people are experiencing the same issues, emotions, shortcomings, accomplishments, life... I want to draw you closer to God. I want you to be comfortable with yourself as He created you. I want to encourage you with my words, not drag you down or shun you. So, what are you dealing with today? What would you like to hear about? What do you need? What questions do you have that you'd like answered? Because it isn't all about me. It's about Jesus, and it's about you. That's why I write. Please leave your answers in the comments below. I'd love to hear your hearts! And thank you for following me as I follow hard after Him.

Girls' Night Out

Every once in awhile, a girl needs a night out! No kids, no husband, just her and the girls...

These are some of my girls...

Kayla, Miss Charlotte, Erin, Patricia, Carla, Thara, and Kim...


God has an amazing way of giving us new sisters and friends no matter where life takes us. I should know. I've moved twice in the past three years. Once clear across the country (North to South). And once halfway back home...


And my definition of home has become wherever God leads and wherever my husband is. That's home to me.


For right now, that's in South Carolina. And I needed a girls' night out this past weekend!

And I got one! Thanks to my neighbor/friend/child watcher, I was able to attend Girls' Night Out with Anita Renfroe and Mandisa Saturday! Whoop! And they produced a night of intimacy, worship, hilarity and laughter. 

Did you know that the term "Liver Quiver" comes from the fact that when you laugh, your liver gets a workout? It's the only workout it gets, too... Don't know where the fact comes from. Because I have a headache, I'm not going to look it up right now, but it's true!


I laughed and laughed and laughed. I praised the Lord and worshiped. I danced. I forgot myself and all of life's circumstances and enjoyed an evening out with my friends and sisters in Christ. (If you're my facebook friend, see my wall for more photos of the night.)


And, it turns out Miss Anita is just as hilarious offstage as she is onstage. After having our photo snapped, she asked to see it. "Ooh. Upload that to my facebook page, okay? I look cute in that picture!" So, in honor of her cuteness (and hopefully mine), I'll be doing that. But, for your viewing pleasure, here it is:

I'd also like to make one qualifying statement, if I may... I think Big Ol' Sweet Iced Tea ROCKS! I may originally be from the North, but I love, love, love the South, and no cooling beverage can compare to good ol' Southern homemade sweet iced tea! (Did I mention I was shocked to see sweet tea on the dairy shelf the last time I made a trip to visit my parents? Yep. Southern-style Sweet Tea had hit a northern store shelf! I was in shock!)


Have you had a Girls' Night Out lately? If so, what did you do with your girlfriends?

I Need More Friends

Ezra brought a form home from school last week. He wanted his father and I to approve his attendance in a socialization group at school. The guidance office had put together a group for kids who wanted to develop their friendship skills. And my son wanted to attend.

I found myself thinking proud thoughts of my son. He was taking initiative to overcome a problem spot in his character. He recognized his deficiency in an area and went about pursuing change. I admire his strength and courage.

"Mom, I want more friends. I want everyone in my class to like me." That's where it all began. 

Ezra has struggled with fitting in ever since we started moving with Vic's job. His sense of humor is odd. He's a little awkward when excited about something. He likes to hear himself talk, so he makes noises when he has nothing else to say. He has a compassionate spirit, which attracts bullies. He's sensitive, so everything hurts, and he needs a Band-aid for a scratch. Everything is a big deal to him. Because he cares.

I've tried encouraging him and feeding his need for acceptance, recognition, and companionship. I've pointed out how fearfully and wonderfully made he is, how great it is he cares for other people so much. I've pointed out that other kids may not see how good a friend he'd be. And I've fed him scriptures.

"A man who has friends must himself be friendly." Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV)

I thought back on my own childhood. The brunt of many jokes, I learned early in my life that friends were few and far between. Not everyone would like me. Not everyone would want to play what I wanted to play. Not everyone would treat me fairly. Not even close...

I tried explaining this to my son, who wants everyone in his class to like him and is taking measures to attempt making that a reality in his life. 

"We only have a few friends in life who stick closer than a brother, Ez. Not everyone will like us all the time. Friends will come. Friends will go. But there will always be a handful of friends who you'll keep in touch with forever. Five years may go by without a word, and then you'll talk for a day, and it'll be like you just spoke yesterday. It's these people who are your true friends. They're like family."

I know he gets it to some degree. He has a friend like that. His name's TJ. He sees him once or twice a year, but they've been best buds since toddler-hood. 

I have friends like that. Francesca, from college. Amanda, from childhood. Jeanne & Michelle, from "home." Mary, my new best friend. Years can go by without a word, but when we talk, it's like we spoke yesterday.

And then, there's Jesus. My best friend in the whole universe. He is there each and every moment of each and every day. His love never changes. I can talk to Him anytime. His friendship is irreplaceable, and He's closer than any brother or sister will ever be.

Who are your friends? Can you count them on one hand, like me and Ezra? Send them an encouraging note today, thanking them for their friendship. I'm sure it'll make their day!

~ Monday Musings ~

Girlfriends of the Fountain

 

As a Christian woman, there are a few things that I can't live without: Time with God, reading the Word, praying and attending church on Sundays. These are keys to my life as a Christian. Just as I need food, water, fresh air, rest and sunlight to survive as a human being, I need these things in order to survive as a follower of Jesus Christ.

 

However, there are a few more things that I have discovered I can't live without, as a Christian woman:

 

1. Women's Conferences: I need these as much as my family needs an annual vacation. It is a time where I can come before the Lord, bare my heart to Him, pour myself out at His feet and be renewed and refreshed in the Spirit. I had such an anointed time with Him this weekend, as I attended our annual conference. God spoke new things to me. He brought teaching that I needed to hear. He confirmed the things He'd been telling me for months now. God showed up in a life-changing way this weekend. I would not survive the next year without the anointing I gained this weekend.

 

2. Bible Studies: Getting in the Word of God in my personal quiet time is wonderful. God speaks to me and reveals Himself through the Scriptures. I find fresh manna, new life in words that never grow old. However, when I attend a women's Bible study or Sunday School at church, I learn so much more about His word. I hear it from others' perspectives. More light shines and more Word opens to my heart. This is a place for me to get even deeper in the water of the Word of God.

 

3.  Girlfriends: I married my best friend. He's a strong man of God who loves Jesus and me and our children with all of his heart. He is like a sponge filled with the Word of God that pours out if squeezed. I love him dearly. However, I have found that girlfriends are also a precious gift from God. As a woman, I need other women that I can share my heart and my life with. I need other women that I can emote with, go deep with and laugh or cry with. Women are relational creatures; it's how God designed us. We need each other just as much as we need our husbands, fathers and brothers. Granted, we will only have a handful of close, intimate friends who we can spill out our hearts with. We are also blessed with girlfriends that we can get together with for fellowship, girls' night out, a weekend retreat or a shopping spree. The wonderful blessing of having Christian girlfriends is that usually they become more than just friends. They become family. Sisters in Christ. And we share a love for one another that is a rare thing in today's society. This is what I am thankful for today. The love of my sisters in Christ, my Girlfriends.

 

I remembered how to play with my friends this weekend. It's something I have needed to do for a very long time now. We laughed. We goofed off like we were sixteen again. We didn't care what anyone else thought of us on the beach that day. We only knew that we are still young at heart, no matter how many kids we have or what stage of life we're in. I hope you can laugh with us as we were laughing in the photograph below. God bless you this week. Hug your girlfriends and tell them how much you love sharing your life with them!

Carla, Miss Charlotte & Me

~ The Human Log ~