Tell Me How Great I Am

Photo Courtesy of Dorota Kaszczyszyn

I love hearing nice words said about me. I love hearing my children sing my praises. I love hearing my husband talk me up to his co-workers. I love hearing my friends thank me for my love and counsel. I love hearing my readers applaud my recent blog post. 

Don't you? 

Most ordinary people thrive on the praises of others. It lifts us up, encourages us and brings health to our souls.

No one likes to be put down, after all.

But what do we do with criticism, correction and the like?

Hannah is nine. I can whisper for her to please go take a shower because her hair is greasy from the day's activity, and she will act like I crushed her heart. "You're mean," tends to be her response.

I'm a writer. There's a term in this industry and most writers are required to have it (or are encouraged to develop it, if they don't). It's called tough skin. Without it, you might not make it in this business. Because criticism is part of the nature of the beast.

"He who rebukes a man will find more favor afterward
 Than he who flatters with the tongue."
 - Proverbs 28:23

I'll never forget the day my parents decided to kick me out of their house. At the age of twenty-two, I felt rather entitled to my life and my freedom. I was an adult, after all. How dare they try to tell me how to live my life?

When I refused to follow their house rules, they deemed it necessary to confront me and drag me off to the pastor's house. Where his very bold, Italian wife decided to tell me how it is. Red-faced and rather loudly, she pointed her finger directly in my face and told me, "Satan made you kill your baby." That's all of the one-sided conversation I remember, because I postured myself behind my self-built brick wall of rebellion and isolation and refused to hear any more of her so-called wisdom.

Her tongue certainly wasn't flattering that day. And I hated her for it.

Flash forward thirteen years later. A group of women in leadership sit encircled in our pastor's living room, his dear wife in our midst. We go around the room, giving one another a word of encouragement and praise. Each lady gets her turn to hear what her fellow leaders love about her. "Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth." - Proverbs 27:2 We are practicing this verse. We are building one another up. 

It becomes my turn to listen. I receive several compliments and encouraging words. My ears tingle with the joy of hearing I'm growing into a woman of God. My pastor's wife smiles at me. "Alycia, do you know what I love about you? No matter how many times I come at you with a baseball bat, you keep coming back for more." This is her way of telling me I have a teachable spirit and am not afraid of correction or criticism. I learn from it. Continually.

The woman who rebuked me has my favor. The woman who yelled in my face with the flush of correction loves me. The woman who isn't afraid to tell it to me straight has my attention.

But I can't remember anyone who flattered me with their lips, their tongue flapping in the breeze. If I do remember the person, I've long forgotten their words and never applied them to my heart.

How about you? Do you prefer flattery or rebuke? Has God's word changed your perspective today?   

Finding Freedom

"You have a spirit of Korah. You're in rebellion. You don't like authority." A very wise employer of mine called the spirit out. I chopped lettuce for salads with a scowl on my face as he threw pizza dough into the air, stretching it to fit the pan.

Sometimes, I need to be stretched to fit the call God has on my life.

My selfish will struggled inside of me. It curled up into a ball, then stretched outward as the Holy Spirit pulled on it. It curled into a ball again, and I felt God kneading it, making my will flexible. Again, the Spirit pulled it outward, shaping my will into His.

Why is it that we struggle so hard against what God wants to do with us?

I have four children and a step-son. Over the years, I've noticed something about my children. When I take hold of their arms in an attempt to keep them in the place I want them, just long enough to get their attention so that I can speak wisdom and instruction into them, they love to twist and wrench and pull away. And that causes them pain.

"Be still, and know that I am God..." - Psalm 16:10 

How many times does God try to get us to stand still for a moment, gently grabbing for our attention, so that He can speak wisdom and instruction into our lives? And we wrench away from His Spirit, struggling against His perfect will for us. Then, like a child, we wonder why we hurt, and we blame it on God. Yet it was our own free will that caused us so much pain.

If we'd only stand still long enough to receive the instruction...

It would prevent so much pain...

I've gone around many mountains in my walk with God. So many times I've listened to instruction and forgotten to follow it no sooner than I'd walked away. It's taken me longer than necessary to get where I am today, because I tried too many short cuts along the way, thinking my way was better than God's way.

Which boils down to trust issues. If I'd trusted God the first time He brought correction, if I'd heeded the advice of my counselors (wiser, spiritually older, mature Christian women), if I'd listened and obeyed, I wouldn't have suffered some of the humiliation I did along the way.

We need to trust God that He has our best interests at heart. We need to trust that the mature Christians in our lives know what they are talking about, have heard from God, and only want what's best for us. We need to admit that we don't have all the answers, that we make mistakes, and that we need correction from time to time.

I learned to be thankful for correction. I learned that having a teachable spirit gets me further ahead in God's chosen path for me than my stubborn pride. I learned that humility prevents humiliation. I learned that it's okay to submit to authority. It doesn't make me less of a person to learn from someone else. No, just the opposite. It opens doors of opportunity when others see I'm willing to work within a set of guidelines and am open to learning from them.

I heeded that wise man's words. I wrestled with the spirit of Korah for a very short time, recognizing I needed to get rid of it. I allowed God to move in my heart, and it proved to be a life-changing moment in my walk with Him. I'm thankful for those who've spoken His truth into my life, unafraid of whether I would be offended or not. The truth hurts, but it never hinders. It only sets one free.


Photo Courtesy of William Stadler

One, Two, Three Strikes. You're Out?

Seventeen years ago this month (I've forgotten the exact day, but I know it was around the 12th or 14th), I gave my life to Christ. It's been an amazing journey, and I know God has so much more in store. This week, I'd like to share how I got where I am in my relationship with Jesus today. I hope you'll join me for the journey this week! Thanks for stopping by!

"You know what I love about you?" my pastor's wife asked me. "I love that I can bring a baseball bat to you, and you keep coming back for more."

I smiled. Why?

Because I recognized how far I'd come since the day I'd asked Jesus into my heart and made Him Lord of my life.

Several years before, the spiritual baseball bat wasn't something I admired. I despised it, actually. I rebelled hard against correction and discipline, and my rebellion only left me spiritually and emotionally bruised and beaten.

"The ear that hears the rebukes of life

 Will abide among the wise.

 He who disdains instruction despises his own soul,

 But he who heeds rebuke gets understanding.

 The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom,

 And before honor is humility."

 - Proverbs 15:31-33

I'll never forget the day I met Jesus face-to-face. I sat on the floor in a bedroom at my pastor's house. People laughed and mingled outside, enjoying the summer barbecue. The air had a cool breeze, and the sun had settled behind the mountain. A few teens and I sat listening to my friend, Dean, play his guitar.

Between songs, I naively asked him, "Can you save me?" (I obviously didn't know Christianese yet.)

Dean chuckled and said, "No. But Jesus can." 

Aah... I got it! On the spot, I prayed the prayer of salvation, confessing my sins to God and admitting I couldn't do life without Jesus as my Savior.

That weekend, I was baptized. In the late summer sunlight, I confidently stepped into the Dry Brook River and awaited to be "dunked." Though the river ran chilly, I didn't notice. It felt like bathwater to me. When I arose from the water, I felt cleaner than I'd ever felt my entire life. I swear I sparkled beneath that sunlight. I walked away a new person, shiny in the light of Jesus.

Until about two months after I returned to college. Strike One. I backslid.

I returned to my parents, dropped out of college, and tried to get on the right path with God. But I'd never gotten rid of my rebellious spirit. My parents set up rules for me to live by, since I stayed under their roof, their covering. And I decided I couldn't live that way.

Strike Two. I moved out from under my covering and in with my boyfriend.

After living with him for several months, I realized he not only had an issue with anger, he now displayed signs of being an abuser. I took an incomplete message from a business phone call, and I ended up with a steel toed boot in the small of my back. No bruise, so the police couldn't do anything about it.

Strike Three. I should have heeded the warning signs a year before and never strayed from God's path. I should never have stepped out from under the protection of my father and his rules.

Fortunately, God knew exactly what I needed. Before I struck out. I lay in bed one morning, wondering why I couldn't sleep. I wrestled with restlessness until the answer came loud and clear, as if God stood in the room with me. "If you don't go home now, you'll never see your eternal home."

I didn't need to hear that message twice. I understood the danger of not heeding the rebuke in my life. I understood that if I disdained this instruction, my soul may not make it through the next month or week. I understood that I needed to fear the Lord and get my life back on track with Him.

I moved back in with my parents. I gave my heart back to Jesus, and I made Him my first love. I didn't strike out. I struck gold.

When I stopped rebelling against those who tried pouring Jesus' love and God's word into me, I found myself growing in the things of God. When I began making choices and decisions in my life based on God's word, and not my own will, I saw God moving in my life. I saw blessings. I saw increase. I saw new things in the Word. I saw God at work in my life. He has done so many amazing things.

And all it took was me saying yes to the rebukes of life. Yes, I'll heed that instruction. Yes, I'll receive that word of correction. Yes, I'll choose to set aside my will for the will of God. Yes, I'll choose to stand firm and receive the strike from that spiritual baseball bat. Because I know God has something bigger and better in store for my life. And if I want Him to be able to use me, I have to humble myself before Him and those around me.

Because before honor is humility.

Photo Courtesy of Dirk Ziegener