Full Circle

There's nothing like going home.

We've come to a point in our journey where we're at a crossroads. Vic and I have had to take our family's well-being into consideration. We have two children in middle school this year, one who isn't far behind, and a fourth who will get there soon enough.

The trouble with moving around so much is that our children have been exposed to things in life we'd hoped they wouldn't have to face for at least a couple more years. The public schools aren't the same as they were when my husband and I were young. Our kids must deal with far more than we did at their ages. Which forces us to ask ourselves what's best for them.

After a month of deliberation and dealing with the impact their school experiences have had on them, we decided it's time for the kids and I to embark on a new journey - one that will take us "home."

We've done this separation of our family once before. For six months. It was the most difficult thing I've ever been through. I now understand why spouses die of broken hearts. I spent six months feeling that intense desire for my husband that wracked every fiber of my being. Talking on the phone helped momentarily but never cured me. What cured me was our reunion at the end of half a year that felt like eternity.

So it is with sweet sorrow that we part ways once more.

On the other hand, I cannot wait to step into our church and be reunited with family. I cannot wait to hear "Uncle" Randy say, "Welcome Home."

The place I ran from as a teen. The place I bloomed where I was planted. The place God is bringing me back to.

Which took a miracle.

See, there are these mountains in Virginia/North Carolina/Kentucky/Tennessee that have grabbed hold of my heart and won't let go. There are these mountains that take my breath away every time their foothills appear in my windshield. There are these mountains I dream of moving to one day and settling into. They will be my comfort zone. They will be the place I call home.

And I told God it would take a mighty move in my heart to ever get me to move back to New York.

Today I find myself packing boxes with anticipation. I consider this next season and find myself actually looking forward to going home.

Because home ...

Is where the trees turn brilliant colors of red, orange, yellow, and purple and the air is crisp {and autumn is right around the corner}.

Is where games of Scrabble over pumpkin spice coffee with my mom and sister await me.

Is where a dynamic ministry awaits and my kids and I can experience another wonderful season of growth.

Is where family gatherings for all kinds of occasions delight the heart and nourish the soul.

Is where I find myself anxious to arrive...

Because I can settle in for a few years and rest from our travels.

So I can begin a new journey as our children finish out their school careers.

 

Home, for now, is in another set of mountains. They're a little lower than the Blue Ridges. They're a little rounder than the Blue Ridges. They're a little faster paced than the Blue Ridges. But they have a beauty all their own. And I can't wait to see them in my windshield.

Thank you for taking the time to experience the in-between with me this week. I hope you've enjoyed the posts, and I hope you'll consider picking up a copy of Jeff's book. I'll leave my review of it tomorrow.

Monday's Post: Get Me Out of Here!

Tuesday's Post: What Happened in the Waiting

Wednesday's Post: On the Road Agai
Thursday's Post: What's Your Dream?

For more info about Jeff's book, please visit: http://goinswriter.com/ Jeff has some great giveaways for ordering The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing. You won't want to miss out! (He's also written several posts to give you a taste of the material in his book and what others are saying about it.)

On Saturday, enjoy my review of The In-Between.

What Happened in The Waiting

I wish I could tell you that I quit college, went home, and life became all I dreamed it would be.

But life doesn't always work out that way.

And usually it's our own unwise choices or the unwise choices of those we love that become the cause of our discontentment.

I only stayed a few months before I hit the road again ... with a guy.

After living approximately six months away from home with this person, I discovered that being verbally and physically abused would become a lifestyle for me if I stayed with my decision to make it on my own.

Apart from God.

Until I got a wake-up call from the Man Himself.

When God calls you out of your sinful place, you listen. Because if you don't, your life will be like that chaff that burns quickly. I had a choice to make. Go home with my tail between my legs in shame, or face the possibility of spending eternity in hell - on earth and in the beyond.

I could really go HOME and one day enjoy a mansion in heaven, or I could never see home again.

Home is the place where we sometimes hurt the ones we love, but the back door is always open - and there is always a seat at the table.

- Jeff Goins, The In-Between

Thankfully, my parents promised I could come home, so long as I was willing to live under their authority in their house.

Only a fool would refuse a seat at the table. Because that's where God prepares a place for us. And when we rest in His place for us, goodness and mercy surely follow us all the days of our lives.

This is what happened in the In-Between:

I waited for love ... and found the love of a Savior. I discovered that God loves me as the person He created me to be. It no longer mattered what the kids in fourth grade thought of me. It no longer mattered whether or not my crush loved me in return. Because in the waiting, Jesus became my first love.

I waited 4 years for marriage ... and the man of my dreams and a new son. The first five years of our marriage were incredibly tough, but we discovered that in the darkest places we found the deepest intimacy. And I learned all the more that no matter what my husband thought, God saw and heard everything that went on in our step-family when no one else was watching.

I waited another year to have my own kids ... and have been blessed with four incredibly different children. I've learned to enjoy the waiting as they grow and mature. This journey in life goes faster than the blink of an eye, even when it seems to be dragging a one-ton weight. I know. My step-son is now 23. He was 4 when I met his father. My oldest is almost 14. The youngest is nearly 9. Enjoy the process of who they are becoming. Now's the time to savor the moments and take the time to teach them all you know. Tomorrow they'll be on their own journey, facing their own in-betweens.

My husband and I waited 10 years for the prophetic promise from God to come to pass ... and today we are gratefully advancing in each of our careers, watching God do amazing things in the in-between moments. God promised my husband would become a company man - while he was working union, being shifted from company to company as he went from job site to job site. But God knew what He was doing. And we had no idea what enduring the in-between had in store ...

Join me tomorrow to find out what the in-between did have in store.

This week, I will be preparing for another journey ... to a new season of life for our family. A new in-between. A new season of waiting and discovering and savoring the ordinary moments in life that lead to the extraordinary events of life. I will leave a post each day, Monday through Friday, for you to enjoy and think upon as I prepare for and make my trip. These posts will lead up to where I find myself today, and I hope that they encourage you to enjoy the wait.

Read yesterday's post here: http://alyciawmorales.blogspot.com/2013/08/get-me-out-of-here.html

For more info about Jeff's book, please visit: http://goinswriter.com/ Jeff has some great giveaways for ordering The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing. You won't want to miss out! (He's also written several posts to give you a taste of the material in his book and what others are saying about it.)

On Saturday, enjoy my review of The In-Between.

Work the Wait

We spend a lot of our lives waiting. We wait for the next vacation with anticipation of fun and freedom from work. We wait for the next morning in anticipation of all we can accomplish in a day. We wait for Sunday to arrive in hopes to be touched by God during Sunday morning service.

Sometimes, we wait when we should be actively pursuing.

Remember the adage "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today"?

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.”

 James 4:12-15

Vic and I are always anticipating our next move. We are always planning ahead, looking for signs that God is going to take us to a new place. We watch for the new seasons in our lives. We anticipate. And while we anticipate and we wait, we make ready.

If a new season is blowing in, we fast and pray. The last thing we want to do is walk out from under God's cloud or put out the fire by night. We seek His will for our lives and the lives of our children.

If a new day is dawning, we look for God's hand in it. We find the things to be thankful for and lift them to the Lord as a form of worship. We trust Him to meet our every need, whether physical, spiritual, or financial. We set our hands to do the work required, and we tithe our first fruits.

And we never wait until Sunday morning for a touch from God. We actively pursue Him every minute of every day that we draw breath.

When planning a vacation, nobody sits and waits until the last minute. We buy our plane tickets, we make our reservations, we plan out the fun activities we're going to do.

We don't start tomorrow without finishing what we can today. We make to-do lists and think ahead. We brainstorm ideas for new products or creative pursuits. We clean the messes so we can start fresh.

Why should waiting be any different? Why shouldn't we plan ahead? Why shouldn't we count the costs? Why shouldn't we hope for something new, something refreshing, something better? Why sit around and do nothing? We aren't guaranteed tomorrow, but we have today. We need to do all that we can within it.

I challenge you today to stop waiting without action. Brainstorm. Hope. Plan. Enjoy the process. Enjoy the journey. And then let God bring it to pass.

A Gift in the Waiting...Time

One thing about waiting that we can be certain of is that waiting takes time. Usually, that time is too long for our anxious hearts. However, God consistently speaks of the "appointed time" in life throughout the Bible.

I've posted about what to do while you're waiting and praying in the midst of the wait. Last night, I found myself tossing in my bed. Sometimes, God wakes me up with a word. This time, it was a reminder.

Time is a gift.

He whispered it real quiet-like. "When you receive a gift, you need to open it. Don't leave it sitting in a box on a shelf in your heart. Open it and use it."

How often do we hate the wait so much that we never do anything with it? How often do we sit and wait for what's next, instead of living in today?

There were ten virgins in Matthew 25. The Word says that five of them were wise and five were foolish. See, they were waiting for the bridegroom to arrive. Five of them had the sense to do something with their waiting time and gathered oil for their lamps. The five who were foolish didn't prepare. They came to the waiting place with no oil in their lamps. So when the time came for the groom to arrive, they weren't ready for Him. They begged the five wise ladies to spare some oil for them, but they knew how much they would need and could spare none. Five ladies met their bridegroom. Five did not. Because they weren't ready.

Time is a gift. We need to use it wisely. Tweet This

Rather than fretting over what's to come, we should be making preparations. We should be seeking the face of God in the now, not waiting to do so when He arrives and says, "It's time."

Why does God give us all of this time in waiting? Let's take a look at a few examples from the Word:

1. Time to Repent: "And I gave her time to repent of her sexual immorality, and she did not repent" (Revelation 2:21). He gives us time to repent of our sins, so that we can be prepared for what's to come. I sometimes wonder if things I know my husband and I are called to do haven't come to pass yet, because we still need to get some things right in our own lives. Actually, I'm certain of it. We are in the midst of a season of repentance in preparation for what's to come. What do you need to repent of that could be holding you back from God's plan for you?

2. Time to Store Up: "Let them do good, that they may be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life" (1 Timothy 6:18-20). The ten virgins needed to store up their oil. They needed to have time to be filled with the Holy Spirit and do what God had called them to do. Five of them were wise and stored up their good foundation in Jesus. They took the time to know their Lord and Savior. Five of them did not. Jesus' response to them was, "I never knew you." God has a plan and purpose for everyone who loves Him. Before we can come into His will, we need to be prepared, so we don't cause another to fall when we fail. There's no worse feeling than seeing another person fail because you weren't prepared. Trust me, I know. By getting ready, we will have success in Jesus Christ in whatever He calls us to do.

3. Time to Redeem the Time: "See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil" (Ephesians 5:15-16). God allows us time to "buy up, to ransom, to rescue from loss, to improve opportunity." These are the definitions of "redeeming" in the Strong's Concordance. God wants to allow us time to improve our opportunity in these evil days. He wants us to become men and women of integrity who can share His love and His Word with those who don't know Him. He wants us to rescue time from loss. Be wise in the waiting. Don't fall asleep as the disciples did. Join Jesus in His will. Pray. Seek God's face. Do good works.

4. Time to Understand What the Lord Wills: "Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is" (Ephesians 5:17). The disciples didn't understand why Jesus became so frustrated with them in the Garden of Gethsemane. He told them to watch and pray. After He'd prayed for a time, He returned to find them sleeping. He tells them to watch and pray again, and this time He reveals the purpose of His will for them to do so. "...lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41). When we refuse to take the time to pray and watch in the waiting, we open ourselves up to an attack from the enemy. We can say we love Jesus and wish to do His will, but our flesh tends to be weaker than our spirit. We succumb too easily to heavy eyelids and deaf ears and heavy hearts. Understand what God wills for you. Watch. Pray. And quit sleeping every time you go to church or open the Bible. "...the hour is at hand" (Matthew 26:45).

5. Time to Realize Life is Short: I am most guilty of this one. "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit'; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that'" (James 4:13-15). Not knowing where we will be sent next always leaves me wondering which city we'll be heading for and how long we'll be there. I spend a couple of hours a week, for about a month or two before the company tells us where we'll be going, looking at Google Maps and searching local schools and crime charts, trying to plan for what's to come--when I don't even know where we're going. Sad, right? I waste so much time, rather than taking care of today's cares. Life is short. We need to live in the here and the now, not the past (redeem that time) or the future (it could vanish tomorrow).

God's gift of time is precious. It's the oil in our lamps. It's the hour to tarry with Him. It's the opportunity to know Jesus and to prepare for God's opportunities in our lives. Don't waste it while you're waiting.

In the Midst of It...Praying Through the Wait

This morning, I struggle with the wait. I'm in the midst of it...the middle of not knowing. The anxiety of unanswered questions. The depression that follows the anxiety, pushing on the door of my heart, wanting to barge in and take control.

It's never easy - the not knowing. We all suffer from it at one time or another. For me, it's not knowing where or when we'll be moving on to the next project, yet knowing it's going to be sometime in the next month or two. And it will probably be a short notice. For some, it's not knowing where the money will come from before your electricity gets shut off or your house goes into foreclosure. For others, it's not knowing if the loved one will ever come out of the coma, be healed of the cancer, or overcome the addiction. For someone else, it's not knowing if the adoption will fall through or come through. At one point or another in our lives, we all face it.

But, how do we deal with not knowing? What do we do with this anxious knot in the pit of our stomach that threatens to push its way out through our eyeballs?

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

Be anxious for nothing. Easier said than done, for sure. Especially if you're an emotional woman. This morning, I am certainly anxious. I have to continue to remind my brain {and my heart} that God is in control. This is out of my control. God must be the only one who knows what's to come, because even the managerial staff can't tell my husband (and themselves) what's to come. So, why should I be anxious?

I give it back to God through my prayers and supplications. Today, they sound like this:

Lord, take this anxiety away from me. I do not want depression. I do not want an attack. I want peace, Lord. The peace You give. That peace that passes all of my understanding. The peace that says, "I have it all under control, child. Rest in Me today." Please give me that peace, Lord. I am thankful for my husband's job. In a day where there are so many unemployed, I am extremely grateful for Your abundant provision, Lord. You are marvelous in Your works. Thank You, Jehovah Jireh! Lord, could You please bring closure? Could you please bring a good word to the sick hearts of the men on this job, who are waiting to find out where they are going next and when? Could you please provide answers soon? We know Your timing is perfect; our hearts are waning, Lord. We seek closure. We seek the next move. We seek the next phase of work, Lord. These are our humble requests. And while we wait on Your perfect timing, please guard our hearts and minds. Help us to dwell on those things that are true and of good report. Help us to consider those things we praise You for today - like a job, a healthy family, a roof over our heads, and food on our tables. We honor You, Lord. Amen.

I wrangle my thoughts and bring them to Jesus. He is my Provider in my time of need. He is my Salvation from the thoughts that try to overtake me. He is my Rock on which I stand in the midst of the storms of life. I will choose to worship Him today, despite my circumstances or situation.

Consider your anxiety today. Be anxious for nothing. Give it back to God and let Him handle it. He's got it all under control, friend. Let Him know what you wish for Him to do and then let Him take care of you. Thank Him. And enjoy your day. Tomorrow has its own worries...

In the Meantime...What to Do While Waiting

Let's face it; none of us likes to wait. In this day of microwaves, high-speed internet, and jumbo jets, we want everything we need, ask for, or desire in an instant. Delayed gratification? What's that? An ancient term to some.

But life remains full of waiting: long lines at WalMart (can't they open another lane?), hours in the doctor's waiting room (why did I need to schedule an appointment, then?), adoption approvals, healing, employment in the midst of unemployment, financial breakthrough, spiritual breakthrough. You name it, someone is probably waiting on it.

Why? Because God has His own timing, and it's perfect. We chew our fingernails and pull out our hair, panicking in our boats of life because Jesus seems to be sleeping on it. Yet, His word says to wait and have faith.

"Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!"

~ Psalm 27:14

So, what does one do while waiting on the Lord? If you're like me, you have a difficult time sitting still. My brain runs at 100 miles-per-minute. Waiting in one place is awkward and uncomfortable. I must have something to do in the meantime.

5 Things to Do While Waiting

Pray. Read. These would seem obvious to some. However, when we get busy with life, we tend to forget the simple things. By praying, we can hear direction from the Lord. We may be waiting for one thing, while God's trying to move us toward another. Reading His Word can also give us that direction.

Study. Be an intern or learn from a mentor. There are things I want in life that I would have no clue in and of myself how to gain them or maintain them. The only way I can ever see these dreams come to pass is if I study how to do so. While I wait for God's perfect timing, I can be reading, learning, and putting myself into a position for the dream to become a reality.

Practice. Violinists don't become prodigies overnight. Writers don't write best-sellers the first time they put a pen to paper. It takes practice to become what God is calling you to be. While you wait to paint the historical masterpiece, pick up the watercolors and the brush. Have some fun and become good at what you do, in the meantime.

Pay attention to the game. Football players don't sit back and relax on the bench during a game. They have to keep their head in it, focusing on what's happening on the field, what their teammates are doing. Why? Because they never know when the coach is going to call them into the game. In order for the team to be successful enough to win it, they have to know what's going on and be ready to jump in, picking up where their teammate left off.

Live in the moment. Don't regret the mistakes of the past. They make us who we are today. Those experiences taught us what works and what doesn't. Don't jump ahead to the future, either. Keep your eye on the horizon and what's to come. But, don't miss what God has in store for you today because you want tomorrow to arrive already. There are things in today that you and I need in order for tomorrow to come as God intended it to. Look for them. Cherish them. In doing so, you'll be living life in abundance.

Waiting on Change

In 1997, God made it clear I owned a root of bitterness. Deep down inside of me, somewhere, it hid beneath years of spiritual growth. Not good spiritual growth. Bad spiritual growth. All those sins of my past buried themselves deep in my heart, causing me to take on a biting tone when I spoke, a sarcastic attitude, a rebellious nature and probably more.

Photo Courtesy of Kevin Connors

 I understood God forgave me of all those sins. I also understood I would grow a bit crooked (like this tree) if I didn't allow the bitter root to be removed and a fresh one planted. 

"that  Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
- Ephesians 3:17-19

God loved me so much He wanted me to be aware of my dark place and to bring it into the light of His love. He wanted me to become rooted and grounded in His love, not my past mistakes.

Photo Courtesy of Sebastian Santana

I spent the next few months rooting out the issue within me. Through time in prayer, worship, thanksgiving, receiving counsel, and reading Scripture, holy surgery began to take place. 

Over time, people began to identify the change. My parents began to say how light my once sharp tone had become. My husband-to-be (we weren't engaged yet) pointed out he'd noticed a difference in my spirit. 

God worked as I waited. God made changes one scalpel cut at a time. Despite my wishes, change didn't come overnight. It came in God's perfect timing.

As easy as it would be to quit trying to change, I continued to work at it. I never gave up hope that one day I would be more like the new man mentioned in the Scriptures and less like the one I'd wanted to leave behind.

"...He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." - Philippians 1:6

God changed my heart and removed that root of bitterness over time. I might not be perfect or complete, but when Jesus comes, God will bring all of His work in me to completion.

Do you look forward to the day God's work is complete in you? Don't quit. Don't give up. Hang on to the promise of God and know that He is working a change in you even now.