A Lesson in Gratitude

Last week, my children came home with invitations in their backpacks. The school staff invited me to attend a Thank You Breakfast for parents who'd volunteered throughout the 2010-2011 school year.

My fifth grader spoke up on the way home later that week. "Mom, you have to go. I'm in a movie!"

My second-grade daughter shushed her brother. "You weren't supposed to tell! It was a surprise!"

This morning I attended the wonderful breakfast the school counselors had put together for the volunteers. After warmed up, pre-packaged chicken patties on biscuits and juice, we enjoyed the movie our children starred in. Multiple students, most of whom shied away  from the camera, stated their thank yous, congratulations, and I love yous. As the movie ended, the counselor came to the front to say thank you once again, leaving us with a humble parting gift of a small basket with one pencil and several peppermint candies inside.

What caught my attention more than the humbleness of the staff, who proclaimed they couldn't do it without us volunteers, was the loud jesting of some of the PTO/PTA volunteers. The joke began as just that, a simple jest. "And our brand new cars are out in the parking lot?"

Remarks came about this not being the Oprah Winfrey show. The principal of the school, in good-hearted response said we should look under our seats, and we might be lucky enough to find a piece of chewing gum.

Hearing the joke one time would have been considered funny and in good humor. But when the comment about a car came three more times throughout the presentation, it soured my grape drink. My concern for the teachers' hearts grew as their faces dropped.

 "Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death,

 Is the man who deceives his neighbor,

 And says, 'I was only joking!'"

 ~ Proverbs 26:18-19 

To someone sitting in the room, it may seem like the ladies were only joking about the car keys. However, to a parent who volunteered because she understands the need for help in today's classrooms, the subtle underlying tone sounded more like, "Your thanks isn't big enough for all I do." Words are so easily deceitful, especially when disguised and delivered as a joke. The jest became a mocking, and my heart bled for the faculty who'd gone through so much trouble to provide gratitude for all that we volunteers did.

The lesson I learned today? Gratitude often comes in the humblest forms. We need to be careful to acknowledge it, say thanks in return, and to celebrate in the opportunity we had to do good for someone else, rather than expect something large in return.

~ Wisdom for Wednesday ~

Happy is the man who finds wisdom,

And the man who gains understanding;

For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver,

And her gain than fine gold.

~ Proverbs 3:13-14

No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy, the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child. The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.

~ Emma Goldman

The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves throughout their lives. ~ Robert M. Hutchins

Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army. 

~ Edward Everett

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. 

~ William Butler Yeats

Hear instruction and be wise,

And do not disdain it.

~ Proverbs 8:33

~Tuesday Tips~

Caleb with Mrs. Richardson

School is in full swing. Fall is here with its fresh sweep of color. The air is crisp. Pumpkins are available at the local super market and various farm stands across the nation. Report cards and Parent/Teacher Conferences are just around the corner.

 

Spending my childhood in my mother's elementary classrooms, assisting grading papers, hanging bulletin boards, organizing shelves of books and closets filled with construction paper and school supplies, I understand the hours it takes to be a teacher. Parents sometimes don't realize that teaching isn't a mere 8-3 (or 7-2, if you're in the South) job. It requires many additional hours outside the classroom taking classes, participating in workshops, grading papers while watching television at night, preparing new lessons and much, much more. I remember many nights when my mother was busy at work, at home, while I self-entertained, wishing she could spend more time with me.

 

As Parent/Teacher Conferences approach, I'd like to give a few tips on how to make this school year a success for your children and their teachers.

 

Keep the lines of communication open with your child's teacher. Whether it's a concern about their grade on a test, a question about homework policies or a frustration over a behavior report, contact the teacher directly. Most will hand out their email address, cell number or some other way to contact them. Never be afraid to ask. All teachers know "there's no such thing as a stupid question."

Give the teacher the benefit of the doubt, always. Johnny comes home complaining about something his teacher said, did or made him do. He feels he's been treated unfairly. (I'm talking about every day things here, not abuse.) A mother's natural tendency is to automatically jump into defense mode favoring her child over the teacher. Don't do this! Rather than reacting to your child's emotional state, help him/her to learn how to handle the emotions of disappointment, frustration and anger. Use it as an opportunity to teach a life lesson. If you want to know more about the situation, contact the teacher before you judge their disciplinary action toward your child. Kids don't always tell the whole story. Adults have better judgment. 

Volunteer to help out. Ever wonder what's going on behind that closed classroom door? Now's the time to find out! Volunteering to assist in your child's classroom is a great way to get to know the teacher, his/her instructional style, their personality and what your child is learning about. It's also a great way to show your child how much you care about him/her and their education. Teachers can never have too many helping hands. The school systems cannot afford to place an aide in each classroom and there are typically 18-22 children in each one. Your presence allows them to get more accomplished throughout the day and puts smiles on kids faces you'd never dreamed you'd touch. 

Don't yell at the teacher or go to conference with an attitude. Susie isn't failing because the teacher is failing to do his/her job. Susie is failing because of several varying reasons, depending on who Susie is:
a) She's not doing her homework or her classwork. This is a sign of two things. One, Suzie is lazy and puts forth no effort. Two, no one is making Susie put forth an effort. Your child's teacher cannot stand over every student every day, making them do their work. It's impossible. It's up to us as parents to teach our children self-discipline and hard work. If we aren't willing to do that, it's our fault, not the teacher's.
b) Susie has a learning disability. There are several solutions to these issues. Check with your school to find out how to effectively help Susie overcome these disabilities.
c) Susie has a hang-up with taking tests. I know someone who is very smart but seizes up when it comes test time. Bad grades on a test do not always reflect a person's intellect. If Susie is having issues with taking tests, find out if there is another way the teacher can go about giving them. Maybe Susie does better with an oral exam than a written one. Ask for help.
d) Susie has difficulty comprehending something. If your child struggles with this, it will affect every area of their learning. Comprehension is simply understanding, connecting the dots, between what is being presented. It's the who, what, when, where, how, why, etc. of the material. Helping your child understand things at home is one way that you can start them on their way to overcoming this issue. Read a book at night. Ask questions about what you've just read to them. What do they think will happen next? Have them think cause and effect: What will happen to this egg when I put it into the hot frying pan? Ask them math questions while you grocery shop. How much change will I get for this $4.00 box of cereal if I give the clerk a $10 bill? 
Discuss these issues with your child's educator in a calm and agreeable manner. Work with him/her in order to get the best education for your child, not against him/her. If you think you could really do a better job, quit yours and homeschool your child.I can hear the teachers cheering and the parents cursing me while saying they'll never read my blog again.


Bio: Alycia Morales is the daughter of an elementary educator who is nearing retirement (go Mom!), mother of four, step-mother of one, classroom volunteer. She has been volunteering in classrooms since she could draw welcome back class pictures on the blackboard with white chalk (SmartBoards were not in existence then). She spent three years teaching elementary education in a private Christian academy. She home schooled her own children for a year. Alycia understands what it takes to work with children and is a cheerleader for teachers everywhere, including moms who choose to teach their own children.

Life Gets Busy Sometimes

Sometimes, life gets busy, and we find ourselves short on time to keep up with everything we're trying to accomplish in a day, a week, or a month. My blogging has been sacrificed while I entertained my father-in-law for one week, before my mother arrived the following week. But, it was all worth setting my blog aside for a week or two...

If you couldn't already tell from the smiles in the above photograph, we really enjoyed Grandma's visit. I was thankful for the additional female and the additional adult in my home full of masculinity. The children were excited about all of the trips we were taking and the goodies that they received. Grandmas are always appreciated. They don't say "no" as much as mom and dad do!

We spent the week taking homeschool field trips, like the one above. We met up with Uncle Lief and Aunt Julie, the cousins, Parker and Ephraim, and my cousin, Willow and her daughter Bailey. My beloved auntie even came along! (She's taking the photo.) We had a blast at the Discovery Center in Charlotte, NC. The children found their favorite activities and stayed at those particular stations throughout most of the day. Ezra was fascinated with making buckets and scoops move tiny metal balls around a huge area. Caleb bounced from activity to activity, displaying his curiosity and short attention span (he's so bright, he gets bored quickly...no ADHD in that kid). Hannah tried a few things, but she enjoyed taking her time and exploring them all.

Gideon enjoyed the day, until he got lost. He was with Uncle Lief and decided to try to find Mommy (while Uncle Lief was looking away, I'm sure). He spent about 15 minutes roaming the building before some nice young lady discovered him crying on the stairwell. Talk about panic. I realized he was gone when I saw my brother and took a head count (which we do frequently in places like that...four kids is difficult to keep track of; I can't imagine being a teacher with a class of 15 or more...). No Gideon. We started the hunt, and I knew I needed to look down on the first floor. He came running with tears in his eyes and a shake in his body as soon as he saw me round the corner. I think he learned his lesson about leaving any adult's side. Needless to say, I am grateful for kind people who are protective of little guys who can't find their mommy.

We spent Wednesday at the zoo. We saw lions and tigers and bears. We saw all sorts of sea creatures and snakes. It was a great educational experience for the kids, and I think I even witnessed the older boys trying to read the plaques about some of the animals they were looking at! Grandma and I enjoyed the day, as well, until the kids started whining...they slept most of the way home.

While Grandpa visited, Ezra learned about leading as the oldest sibling. I wish I'd understood that concept when I was his age. I had no clue my siblings were watching me and learning from me. Caleb learned that persistence pays off; Grandpa finally took him for a ride with him one of the last nights of his visit. Hannah enjoyed the occasional hug from her grandfather. Gideon practiced riding his two-wheeler without his training wheels, with Grandpa holding the seat.

So, along with homeschooling, field trips, visiting grandparents, going to the gym on a regular basis, ministry, and normal everyday life, one can see how my writing had to take a back seat for the past couple of weeks!

In the photo above, left to right (since we all look alike...their kids could be my kids and vice versa):
Lief (pronounced Life...my brother), Parker (my nephew, his son), Ezra (mine), Julie (Lief's wife), Ephraim (he and Caleb could be twins, if they were the same age...also, Lief's son), Caleb, Hannah, and Me, Bailey (on my lap...she's Willow's), Mom/Grandma/Aunt Barb, Gideon (mine), and Willow (my cousin...dad's side...my twin).

What do you set aside when you get busy? Have you ever had a child "get lost" for a short time? Let me know!

Week in Review

Sometimes I realize that I need to just sit back and breathe. I need to think, reflect, refocus, and prepare to go on. Thursdays are a great day to do that. Most of the week is behind me, and Friday is payday. It's the day before the weekend, which is reserved for family and fun. 

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer. I have overcome the world." John 16:33 (NKJV)


When I posted this Scripture to my facebook profile a couple of days ago, I didn't realize just how much tribulation I would be facing this week. My sister-in-law had visited for the weekend, and outside of a few arguments between the kids, it was an enjoyable weekend. 


The excitement began Sunday evening, when my husband was out hunting with a friend. He is fine. My van is not. We have owned a 2002 Chrysler Town and Country since 2004. We bought it used, with 40,000 miles on it. We've driven it North to South and South to North across the country at least three times. We've towed U-Haul trailers with it, filled to the brim with our worldly possessions. That's a lot of weight. The van has served us very well. At 163,000 miles, she decided she'd had enough, and she let her transmission go. Goodbye van. Hello new loan payment. (We paid for the van outright. That was nice.)


But, that was not where our excitement would end. The kids were messing around the next day, running through my house after school. I guess they had to get a lot of energy out. One of them must have had a sharp object carefully concealed in their little hands, because I found my air mattress to be rather flat when I sat on it. I only wanted to put my shoes on, but I discovered rather quickly that I would not be able to sleep well that night. I pulled the sheet back and started hunting for the leak. Fortunately, my husband was able to patch the hole, and our bed won't cost another hundred dollars this week.


Our final excitement has been the scurry to withdraw our children from their current school. This is one of the most difficult decisions that a parent will have to make. To homeschool? Or not to homeschool? That is the question.

For several weeks now our children have gathered with us around the dinner table. The stories of their days at school have been fairly repetitive. 

The oldest starts with, "Today was the most horrible day of my life." His day consists of boys and girls telling him he's a booger head, he stinks (he does not), and he's fat (he is not). 

The middle child says, "I want to be homeschooled." To have this come from the child who has curiosity, intelligence, and creativity to boot is highly unusual. He has seen the torment that other students have poured out on his siblings. He has tired of defending his sister on a daily basis. 


The youngest, the only princess, has continually cried that other girls are mean to her. One boy has turned her into a seven year old punching bag. He pokes, swats, kicks, and shoves every chance he gets. To the teacher's favor, she did move him away from my daughter when requested. To the school's disfavor, they really should have a better eye and ear on their students. Just last night, she informed me that another little boy told her on the bus that his brother was coming after her.


We have been dealing with attitudes and issues that we've never dealt with in the previous years of our children and their education. Two are failing math. Two have gotten written up for fighting one another on the bus. Enough is enough, already.


Some people don't get why others decide to homeschool their kids. They look down noses with disgust. Maybe it's too old school for them. But for this family, old school is far better than daily torture and torment because other children around them have no role models. 


Of course, that is not our only reason for homeschooling. We value what God values, and those values are rarely taught in our schools today. Instead of Creation, they teach evolution. Instead of marriage, they teach alternative lifestyles. Instead of having prayer, they have a moment of silence. I respect other people's choices and religious beliefs, but if you don't want my God in public schools, then keep your own out, as well. In my school, God will be present. My children will learn to love one another because God says to. Credit will be given to Whom credit is due.

My children will still have a social life. Their social life will be improved, honestly. Right now their social life involves people constantly picking at them both physically and verbally. It is emotionally damaging. It is difficult for them to process at their age. It shouldn't be allowed. Their new social life will consist of having friends over who will respect them and be kind to them. They will socialize on the public playground, continuing to "make new friends," as they call it. They will hang out with friends at church and be taught by their Sunday School and Children's Ministry leaders. They will have fun, and they will enjoy themselves.

And I will rest assured that my kids are okay. My supervision is better than most anyone's will be, because I am Mom. They belong with me. They belong to me. They are mine. And I love them!


We are actually looking forward to homeschool. The kids are excited that they will be learning at home. We are going to plan a lot of field trips, social outings, looking for learning opportunities in everyday life, and more. Here's to a new week, and a new season in life...right in time for spring!


I am thankful that Jesus reminds us that we have peace when we have Him. In Him, we overcome the world. I like that. A lot.

 

~ Wisdom for Wednesday ~

My children and their education is big on my heart this week, 

so I offer education quotes today...

"Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom."

~ George Washington Carver

"He who opens a school door closes a prison."

~ Victor Hugo

"I would rather entertain and hope that people learned something 

than educate people and hope they were entertained."

~ Walt Disney

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

~ Aristotle