Monday, November 22, 2010

~ Monday Musings ~

Everything is A-Okay

God has truly blessed me with a fine husband. He loves the Lord with all of his heart. He is like a sponge when it comes to the Word of God. Squeeze him and it freely flows forth. We were on the phone today - he's been traveling this past weekend - when I made the comment, "Our children are in their typical form this afternoon." We'd just arrived home from school, and the bickering had already begun. As I busied myself getting the cookie dough orders from the truck while talking to my husband on my cell, a few slaps were thrown and names were called. Why can't they just get along? 

My husband's reply is what caught me off guard and reminded me where my thoughts should be. "The world is falling apart. You need to be thankful our kids are well and healthy." 
It struck a chord inside. He's right. My children are healthy. 

Caleebster was born nine years ago this past Friday. The day the medical staff was releasing him from the hospital, they informed me that he had a heart murmur. My husband hunted my grandfather's hill, two hundred miles away. My mother taught her first grade class and didn't finish until three o'clock that afternoon. My father flew to Texas for an EMT trade show. I was alone and had to make decisions that seemed overwhelming at the time. 

My heart aches today as I hear my nine-year-old throw a temper tantrum over video games, just as it did the day I left the hospital wondering how severe his heart issue was. Would it cause him to struggle and face death? Or, would God heal it and allow us many years with him and his laughter? The questions remain the same as we enter the pre-teen years. Will he heed the wisdom of his parents and learn obedience, allowing himself many years of walking with the Lord? Or will he continue to have heart issues that will lead him far from God's protective wing?

As I raise my children, I continually ask myself what I'm doing wrong. Why do they fight all the time? Why can't they treat each other the way they want to be treated? What am I doing wrong? What can I do differently? Why don't they seem to hear me when I speak?  

I suppose God sits in heaven, wondering the same thing. Why do they insist on fighting in wars? Why do they insist on getting divorced instead of working through the difficulties? Why do they mock me? Why do they disobey me and my Word? I desire only good things for them. I desire to see them in eternity. I desire to share my love with them, rather than my wrath.

Then I ponder the fact that my parents and God could tell me the truth, give me wisdom, and desire for me to make the right choices. But, it ultimately becomes my choice to make. Do I treat others with kindness? Do I choose to love, forgive, and have faith in God to see me through, guiding me in His paths? Or do I choose to carry grudges, despise others, and dismiss God altogether? I'm the only one who can make that choice for myself. No one else can do it for me.

It's the same for my children. I can read the Word, train them up in the way that they should go, and pray for God's divine intervention in their hearts. It then becomes their choice to obey, love, forgive, and live a life with God. When I doubt my parenting abilities because of their poor behaviors and bad attitudes, I have to ask if I've done all I can to train them up in the way they should go. If my answer is yes, then I can rest assured that the Father of all knows my heart's ache for my children. Rather than become frustrated and stuck on the worldly picture in front of me, I have to turn my focus to heavenly matters. I need to put my trust in God that my children will turn out to be the godly woman and men I pray for. 

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
~ Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)

As Thanksgiving nears, I come before God with an attitude of thanksgiving. I am thankful that my son's hole in his heart healed and did not hinder. I am thankful that my four children are healthy, even when there are days they seem to be deaf to my voice. I know God's voice rings louder than my own. I trust Him to speak to their hearts. In the meantime, I'll continue praying for their futures and their hearts, teaching them the truths found in God's holy word, and doing my best to train them in the way they should go. Thank You, Jesus, for all You are, for all You do, and for completing me. I know that if I stick with You, everything will be a-okay.

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