Parenting Tips: How to Avoid Phone Call Interruptions

Photo Courtesy of Sanja Gjenero

This afternoon, I met one of my online friends over the phone. Knowing this would be an important call and wanting no interruptions, I decided to take the call out to my Yukon.

For the first couple of minutes, none of my four children ran out of the house to complain, ask a question, or report the misbehavior of a fellow sibling. I smiled and relaxed as I enjoyed the conversation.

The peace and quiet couldn't last forever, so when I noticed my twelve year old heading for the door I relaxed behind, I hit the automatic lock button. This conversation would not be interrupted for momentary insanity. I knew his questions and complaints could wait; blood didn't trickle from any of his limbs or his head.

Little did I know that when one uses the automatic lock button without the keys, one is permanently locked into the vehicle. After enjoying half an hour of adult conversation, I pressed the end call button on my cell phone and smiled. I sighed with relief, knowing I'd gotten thirty minutes of mommy quiet time, and I reached for the unlock button on the door to my vehicle. Needless to say, I wasn't going anywhere at that particular moment in time. I was permanently locked into the Yukon.

Don't snort your coffee out of your nose or pee your pants with laughter just yet. (I would have done either of those if I had coffee or needed to use the restroom...) Fortunately, my daughter was playing outside and heard me wildly knocking on the windshield. She obeyed (for once) when I beckoned her over to me. She smiled big when I told her I was locked in and asked her to retrieve the keys from my purse inside the house. I am pleased to say she didn't take vengeance and leave me locked in the truck all night. She bounded back thirty seconds later to release me from my mommy-thought-she-was-sneaky spot.

Note to self: Always take the keys with you when you want to lock yourself away from the world. Because you're at someone else's mercy to set you free, if you don't.

~ Friday Funnies ~

This one comes courtesy of another great friend...

A child had woken early one morning. When Mom asked why the child was up so early, the child replied,  
"I wake up the sun."

~ Friday Funnies ~

This is my skinny bones eight year old, Caleb, 

who said this not four days ago:

"I think I'm 2% fat now, because that (beef) jerky 

says it is 2% fat."

~ Friday Funnies ~

Maybe this is not cool to put on the internet, but it is particularly funny, if I may say so myself. It is not meant to embarrass the parties involved, but I'm sure everyone will be able to relate to these stories. Enjoy. And give your liver a quiver (They say laughter is the only thing that gives your liver exercise.). Laugh it up!

My sister turns XX this week, so this is in honor of her birthday...

Every child's parent can tell a poop story. These are two of my favorites...

The first is my sister's childhood story that she wishes Mom never told. Her thing to do at the ripe age of three was to close the bedroom door, use the "bathroom," and wait for someone to come along and open the door. Smush.  I'm glad I wasn't her mom...

The second is my son's. He was almost two. It was just after his birthday, and he had a brand new figure eight wooden train track. He loved playing with Thomas the Tank Engine.
This particular afternoon, I had put him in his bed for his nap. He laid right down, and I quietly shut the door behind me. It was a wonderful afternoon, and I settled in on the couch for some down time and a little TLC. Since it was so quiet, I assumed that my child had fallen asleep. It remained that way for another ten minutes, until I noticed an odd odor coming from somewhere. Curious, I got up from the couch and went sniffing through the house. I got no more than four steps when the odor became rather strong.
I slowly pushed the bedroom door open, uncertain of what treasure I was going to find behind it. In the middle of the floor sat my son, playing with the "mud" he'd made for Thomas' track. It was all over the track, the carpet, my son, and his brand new trains.
I guess it takes a highly creative mind to remember the episode of Thomas where they were covered in mud and then create one's own mud to play in. And it takes a very patient mommy to clean up the mess without needing a clothespin for her nose...

~ Friday Funnies ~

This one comes from a conversation with a friend...

Apparently, she rolled over at 4:00 a.m. to find her child requiring her attention. 

"My butt cheeks are sticking together."

~ Friday Funnies ~

Lately, I have noticed a lot of women who are pregnant, birthing their babies, and welcoming new life into this world. Some are friends, some family, and some I simply enjoy reading about. In honor of this, I bring you this Friday Funny:

I was pregnant with my first son. My husband and I had taken a day to enjoy some window shopping at our semi-local (it's a 45 minute drive to get there) mall. We were making the rounds, and we'd stopped into a major department store to visit with my "Uncle Randy," who manages the Fine Jewelry Department. While perusing the jewelry section, waiting for his return from lunch, my husband and I ended up on opposite ends of the counter. My step-son, Zachary, decided to spend the time with me. He was eight at the time.

As I stood there, admiring the latest line from 1928 Jewelry (we were over at the costume jewelry display), another lady walked over and began browsing the merchandise next to me. She was about to get the chuckle of a lifetime...

My step-son, in the innocence of any eight year old discovering the truths of this world, said, "Wow Momma Boo! You're getting fat!" The lady by my side couldn't contain her laughter, and I smiled that all-knowing Momma smile at her as I calmly responded to my child's humorous remark, "I should hope so. I've got a baby in there."

~ Tickled Thoughts ~

It's Thursday, and I'm in the mood for some humor as I head for the weekend...
My husband and I decided that it was time to start making family dinner a priority again. As we got caught up in the daily to-dos of life, sitting together at the dinner table sadly went to the wayside. We've been doing quite well this week, and the children are thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to discuss their day's events with us. 
Hannah was very chatty last night, and she gave us a fifteen minute, detailed run-down of her day at school. Her class is learning about the presidents that we will celebrate this Monday. She was a bit confused on her who's who, but we were tickled when she seriously stated that "George Washington D.C. was a good man."  

Quotes from the Kids

As we were driving to Augusta, Georgia the other day, we passed a large strip of land, which housed many factories and plants.

Hannah said, "Look, Mom, it's a cloud factory!!!"