I've always liked to think that faith was something resembling strength, stability, and fearlessness. I've hoped that my faith would be unwavering in the storms of life. That I would stand firm against the gale winds and come out the other side without a tear in my sail. I never imagined faith as being messy or uncomfortable.
Until my New Year rolled in like a thunderstorm. I've spent the last week wavering between faith and joy and tears and despair. When I've seen the will of God, I've experienced an onslaught of desperation. It's been an unusual beginning, to say the least. My faith stands strong and knows God's will is in wonderful progress. My flesh begs for a break and wants to lay down and sleep the month away, spurring me into moments of breakdown tears while I scratch and claw trying to grasp a moment of peace and joy.
BUT GOD. During church on Sunday, I caught glimpses of the prophetic coming to pass. I heard still small whispers of promises kept and hope declared. God said, "Write it down." And while I write, I need to look for His reminders to my heart and soul. To dig deep for that joy and peace within. To remember that He is still standing alongside of me, holding my hand, wiping my tears, and preparing the way for my new year.
And I am reminded of this:
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
{Psalm 51:10 & 12}
Are you experiencing an emotional start to the new year? Do worries and concerns weigh you down? Are you grasping, like me, for joy and peace in the midst of the storms? Allow God to cleanse your heart from doubt, fear, hesitation, unbelief. Allow the generous Spirit of our Lord to renew a steadfast spirit within you, restore the Joy of His salvation, and uphold you.
This too shall pass. And sunny skies are always ahead. I pray God's peace and joy overwhelm you today.
