Proverbs 14 - Building My House

"The wise woman builds her house,

But the foolish pulls it down with her hands."

~ Proverbs 14:1

 

Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit."

 

I often envision a house when I meditate on Proverbs 14:1. I see a building. I see myself doing the dishes at my kitchen sink, looking out the window at a butterfly in the lilacs. I wonder what I'm thinking about, even though I already know. And then I see my imaginary neighbor tearing her house down board-by-board. She's angry and frustrated and talking out loud at no one in particular. 

 

I know in my heart that the scripture speaks of the wise woman who emulates the Proverbs 31 woman we all love to cringe at. She builds her house, supplying all of its needs. But as I thought upon that verse today, another thought came to me.

 

Ez has been crying every time he's corrected lately. I started noticing it a few months ago. I mentioned it to Vic last night. And Vic had a talk with him about using the correct emotional response for the correct emotions. I reminded my young son that God corrects those He loves. I want him to understand that correction is a good thing, and we do so out of our love for him. It doesn't always mean he's in trouble or misbehaving.

 

I thought about the power of our words. The power of life and death is in our tongues, the Word says. We can build up the members of our house with encouraging words, kind words, words softly spoken. Or we can tear them down with harsh, spiteful, mean-spirited words. 

 

Even our tone reflects in our speech. Saying something kind with a sour tone conveys the bitterness in our heart we may be trying to cover up with words. It doesn't work. The receiver of our words can hear right through them.

 

In thinking back on building my house, I'm not building a physical foundation with a roof over our heads. I'm building the lives of my spouse and my children. Or I'm tearing them down. It's a pretty convicting thought.

 

What about you? Do you build your house with edifying words? Or do you tear it down with negativity? It's something to consider... 

 

Photo Copyright 2011 Alycia W. Morales 

~ Family Friday ~

Is It Spiritual or Just Bad Behavior?

As I was discussing children, things of the Lord and the issues of life with a friend, I began to see some things concerning my kids from a different perspective. I stopped looking at their behaviors in the natural and began to discern certain aspects in the spiritual.

The next evening, I sat in an uncomfortable chair with a seat of gold, listening to another woman share from the Parable of the Lost Coin. Her main point became the need for spiritual housecleaning in order to find that precious thing we've lost. Again, I received a new perspective concerning my children and their behaviors and attitudes. 

Between the two, God revealed that the issues I've been dealing with, rebellion, incesant whining and a lack of joy, are not physical or earthly issues. They are spiritual issues hanging over and onto my children. 

I had always wondered why disciplinary actions were not working with my children, no matter how consistent I was. I could put my children in time out, remove priviledges, ground them or even take them to the woodshed (no, I'm not abusive). When none of these techniques worked to stop the behaviors or change the attitudes, I would become frustrated and discouraged as a mother trying to raise children of good character who enjoy life and know Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." (Ephesians 12-13) After receiving the Lord's promptings that weekend I realized I was fighting a spiritual battle, not one with my children. Where I was attempting to discipline in the natural, I needed to begin to battle in the spiritual.

"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and everything that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:3-5) It's time to go to battle in prayer. My war is not with my children. My war is with the things that would try to keep my children from the knowledge of God. My war is with the spiritual attitudes that come against all that I pour into them throughout the day and during their nightly prayers. 

I have pulled my copy of Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Parent off the shelf. Since she has chapters concering joy, listening to the truth vs. the lies, rebellion vs. obedience and more, I am able to get very specific in my prayers concerning my individual children. I continue to pour the Word into them when I speak with them concerning their attitudes. I have realized physical discipline isn't what is needed when dealing with attitude and emotion. No. My answer is prayer.

I am thankful for this revelation. I have hope where despair tried to creep in. I have peace where frustration reigned. And my kids have a new mother who understands her authority in the role of parenting. It's through the victory that Jesus provided on the cross.