Toughtful Words - Parental Words

"I wish you'd never been born."

"Peter wasn't part of our plan."

"Shut up!"

"Go away!"

Have your parents ever said these words to you? To a sibling? Are they ingrained in your heart? Do they resound in your head?

Do you say them to your own kids?

These are words that wound a child for life. Tender hearts can't filter ambiguous meaning. They don't understand that Mommy is tired and doesn't want to hear the same list of what they want for their birthday ten times a day. They don't understand that "wasn't part of our plan" translates to "blessed surprise." No parent should ever tell a child they wish they'd never been born.

As a parent, I must select my words with wisdom. I constantly have to remind myself that my tongue holds the power of blessing and cursing. 

Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things out not to be so. - James 3:10

I've found that with my oldest son, I can't tell him he did something stupid, because he automatically translates that to mean I am stupid.

My middle son, Caleb, is like my German Shorthaired Pointer. He needs to be occupied and active, or something inside of him snaps, and he turns into a mischief maker. Many times I've caught myself saying something along the lines of, "Quit being a pain." Or, when talking with another adult, "Caleb's my difficult one." Notice the curse? Every time I speak those negative words over my son, I am pulling down a curse over him. He will become a pain, difficult, trouble.

On the other hand, when I think about my words before they fall out of my mouth, I can bless my children. "You're smart." "You're talented." "You are such a princess." "You are so handsome in that suit." "You can do anything you set your mind and heart to do."

Or, to say it biblically:

The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace. - Numbers 6:24-26

After all, we are raising children of God. Who are His before they were ours.

If you've ever had curses spoken over your life by your own parents, please know that God loves you. He created you in His image. He gave you life. He wants you. He loves you.

Here are a few things He says about you:

He formed your inward parts. He covered you in your mother's womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. His works (you) are marvelous. - Psalm 139:13-14

You are the apple of His eye. - Psalm 17:8

He knows the thoughts He thinks toward you. Thoughts of peace, not of evil. To give you a future and a hope. - Jeremiah 29:11

The Scriptures are filled with plenty more. Go on a treasure hunt. If you're a mother, do it with your kids. Find out what God says about His children. Mine the gold. Seek the precious. And find words of blessing to speak over yourself and your children.