Thursday, April 5, 2012

Easter Devotion Four: The Darkest Hour

Photo Courtesy of Sias van Schalkwyk
"Now from the sixth hour until the ninth hour there was darkness over all the land.
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, 'Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?' that is, 'My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"
- Matthew 27:45-46

I've often wondered what Jesus felt in that moment. Did He wonder if He could complete His Father's will when the world went dark? Did He wonder if His Father's love had failed? Or did He know with all of His broken being that God loved Him as His Son and would not really leave Him alone to face His darkest hour?

"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

As a step-parent, I thought the days of bitterness and distrust would never end. My first five years of marriage weren't full of honeymoon bliss and waves of lovely feelings. They read more like driving through a dark tunnel without headlights to guide the way. And the end of the tunnel sat invisible around the bend.

My husband's and my relationship hadn't experienced conflict until we said, "I do." At that point, however, I walked on eggshells, wondering when the next explosion of anger and frustration would erupt from within the man whose relationship with Christ had so impressed me for the past four years. The difference was like night and day. This season filled with night.

I placed my hope and my trust in Jesus during that season of our marriage. I knew I could not always please the man I married, but I could sure as heck put my best effort forth to please the One who held my heart for eternity. I knew I could trust Jesus to never leave me nor forsake me, regardless of how many times my husband brought up the "D" word or told me I hated his son. I could lean into my Father's arms when my husband turned his back on me and slept on the couch in his anger. I knew Jesus would come through for me when man would not.

I knew Jesus understood the darkness I endured, because He endured it too, when the world went black.

What are you facing today? Does it feel like the tunnel is never-ending? Does it feel like you are alone in your circumstance? Remember:

"Seeing then that we have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.
 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
 - Heb. 4:15-16

Lord, as we face dark hours on this earth, may we find our comfort in knowing that You, too, faced loneliness, temptations and the like. May we focus on You and Your perfect love, knowing in our hearts that You will never leave our sides. May we find the hope and courage we need to endure the trials and tribulations of life, looking to the ends of the tunnels we travel through, where Your light shines brightest. In Jesus' name, Amen. 

2 comments:

  1. Love this post, Alycia. Thanks for sharing one of your dark hours, and what a great blessing that you were able to cling to Him instead of bailing out. So many get frustrated and tired and take the easy way out (the D-word).

    I hope your days have gotten brighter. You're a sweet blessing to your family.

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  2. Thank you, Susan! Yes, our days have gotten much brighter over the years. Our marriage is standing on the Rock, and my husband and I are extremely in love with each other. My step-son is grown and doing well, and we love him very much. Communication has been key, as well as a lot of forgiveness. And the D word has been removed from our vocabulary.

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