Monday, September 19, 2011

What to Do When God Disappoints

This week I've heard a lot of talk about disappointment. It seems God isn't coming through for people. Their prayers are going seemingly unnoticed. The answers aren't coming as quickly as they'd expected. Things aren't what they've hoped for. The blessing isn't falling from the sky. And God is silent.

And they want to know why.

In the years that I've come to know Jesus, I've learned that God's silence is a gift.

There was a time in my life when I loved a man. He was tall, dark, and handsome. He treated me well. I spent day-after-day praying that God would bless me with his love and affection.

But there was one mountain standing in the way. Despite the fact that he and his wife had been separated for seven years, their divorce hadn't finalized. He was still a married man. And I had to let go of my desire for him.

The set-up was perfect. He was a Christian man. He loved God with everything inside of him. He was gentle and sweet and seemed to care about me. He loved my parents. My parents loved him. And we'd become really great friends.

But he was still married.

He'd met Jesus as his Lord and Savior after he'd separated from his wife. He followed his pastor's counsel and attempted to get back together with her. He asked her if she was willing to try again. She said no. They proceeded with the divorce. But it took years for it to finalize.

And it took my standing up and doing the right thing in God's eyes. I knew inside of me what was right and that I was wrong in pursuing any relationship with this man. I had to admit it to myself and do what God called me to do in my heart.

I will never forget the day I laid my hopes and dreams aside for God's will. I made a phone call and explained that I could no longer spend time with Prince Charming if he remained married. I explained that I did have feelings for him, but in order to be right with God, I could no longer allow those feelings to rule my heart. God had to come first. I shared with him that I no longer wanted him to come to my house, call me to talk, or invite me out. I knew this would have repercussions on my family, because he considered my father a friend, as well. But it had to be done, and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I did it. I told him that if he got his divorce and heard from God that I was the one for him, then I'd be happy to hear from him. But until then, please leave me alone.

What I chose to do for God pleased God and won the heart of my Knight in Shining Armor.

I prayed against God's will for four years for a married man. It wasn't until I handed my dream of True Love over to God and made Him the King of My Heart that He would answer it with my heart's deepest desire.

No kidding. Within two weeks of me putting my foot down and seeking righteousness in my heart, his divorce finalized. 

A month later, as I walked past the Chinese restaurant, I noticed his car out front. I took a chance at the prompting of my heart, and I went inside. He invited me to join him, and over small talk, he announced he'd be claiming single on his tax return that year. Although my heart pounded with excitement inside my chest, I acted like I'd let it go over my head. I responded, "That's nice," and continued the conversation. When he offered to drive me to my destination across town, I accepted. When he asked me if he could call me later, I accepted.

Within 24 hours, he'd asked my father and my pastor for my hand in marriage. Within a week, we went out on our one and only official date. We ate dinner. We looked at engagement rings while we waited for our movie. The next week, he came to my parents' after work with a proposal. We were married two and a half months later.

All because I decided to put God first and my dreams second.

Did God answer right away? No. I prayed wrong. Did God answer as I expected Him to? No. His plan was better than mine. Did God give me what I wanted? Not until I got right with Him. Did God come through for me in the end? Of course! Because He knows what's best for me, and He promises to give us the desires of our hearts, if we will just trust in Him.

Photo Courtesy of Canna_W

2 comments:

  1. How, what a powerful picture of God's perfect will...and how easily we try to overrule it! I love it!

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  2. That's quite a testimony of God's goodness and how His will is always best for us.

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