Irreconcilable Differences?

Too many times couples divorce simply because they have irreconcilable differences. It's our differences that make us unique and individuals. My husband and I are complete opposites. But it’s in that opposition that we are made complete. He is laid back and playful. I am a task master and serious. He is a last-minute planner. I like to plan a month in advance. He takes time to get over something and move on. I want things resolved immediately and move on. There are things he does that drive me crazy. There are things I do that drive him crazy. 

But we complete one another. That’s the beauty of God’s design for marriage. When we learn to get past one another's faults (we all have them), we can move forward together in love.

"Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand." - Matthew 12:26 

Is your house divided? Do you feel things should be one way, while your spouse feels it should be another? It's hard for a house to stand on an uneven or split foundation. There isn't enough support in the right places to hold it up.

Many times Vic and I have argued or disagreed over finances, vacations, disciplining the children, and many other things. Sometimes it's as simple as whether to stay home for the day or take the children out to do something. One of us will be in a foul mood, and it turns the entire day upside down. When we should be spending time as a family having fun, no one is happy and having fun.

The house is sitting atop our crumbling foundation. We're trying to build it on our own will and of our own work. And that was never God's plan.

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is

 For brethren to dwell together in unity!

 It is like the precious oil upon the head...

 For there the Lord commanded the blessing - 

 Life forevermore."

 ~Psalm 133:1,2a,3b

God's plan for marriage is a union. It is for a man and a woman to be joined together as one flesh. Walking in unity. That is where the blessing lies. That is where there is life forevermore.

How do we come together in unity as husband and wife? How do we build on a foundation that will hold our house together for a lifetime?

1. We put God in the midst of it. If God doesn't build the house, we build it in vain. (See Psalm 127:1) When God is in the middle of us, it isn't easy to pull us apart. (See Ecc. 4:12)

2. We put one another before ourselves. (See Eph. 5:13,14 & Matt.20:28)

3. We treat others the way we would want to be treated. (See Matt. 7:12)

4. We don't let the sun go down on our anger. (See Eph. 4:26-27)

5. We walk in forgiveness. (See Matt. 6:14-15)

6. We understand and recognize that none of us is perfect, nor will we ever be perfect. (See Ecc. 7:20, Rom. 3:10, 23)

7. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. He gave Himself for her. He loves her as He loves Himself. He doesn't deal with her treacherously, but nourishes and cherishes her. (See Eph. 5:25-29, Mal. 2:15-16)

8. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. He is the head of your house, just as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body, just as your husband is the hero of your home. Respect your husband as such. He has your best interests at heart. 

 

Join me tomorrow for part three.