Friday, March 4, 2011

Spring Cleaning My Spiritual Closet - Part 2

Photo Courtesy of vetileit

"Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts." - 1 Corinthians 4:5a

If I might take a moment to be transparent with you, here is what I've discovered hiding in my spiritual closet lately:

- impatience and frustration - I get this knot-like tensity in my upper chest and lower throat. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. It's not an anxiety or panic attack. It's sin rising up from my lack of long-suffering and patience. I just need a break, already! Can't I get five minutes to myself without interruptions or someone else's needs preventing me from completing what I'm working on?! - Yep. That's how it feels, but it's not always reality. Reality is I put off reading the Word that morning. I skipped lunch. I'm tired and cranky and need to spend more time with my kids than on facebook that afternoon. I haven't given myself and break, and the ugly mom is rearing her head. I need to work on that one.

- self-righteousness - This is something I don't take out on other people. Please know that up front. I don't think I'm better than everyone else. This is just how self-righteousness shows up in my day. Also, this isn't always happening. It's sporadic. Like once every six months or once a year. I just wanted to be honest. - I haven't prayed a prayer of repentance in 3 weeks, because I don't feel I've done anything so horrible as to need to. And all of a sudden, I'm not feeling that close to the Lord. I find myself talking more to myself than praying with God. I find the Word dry. I want to isolate and stay home a lot. Yep. I'm doing all right. Things are just okay. Nothing's really new. - Yep. It's time to repent. Sometimes they're those presumptuous sins. I might not even recognize them. They creep up quietly, unobtrusively. It's not like I ran out and stole a car. I just forgot to read today. I missed the mark. And once I've repented, my heart softens again. Things like praise songs make me want to weep. I know I've been touched by God again, forgiven again, and I can now get back to life the way it should be. Reading. Praying. Worshiping my Love. 

- unhealthy eating – Maybe this doesn’t initially sound like a character issue, but it is. It’s called greed. I want to indulge in sweets – just because I love them so much. Not because I need them. But they aren’t good for me, and my waistline is showing that. So is the fact that I find myself sluggish and over tired. I haven’t exerted any energy, so I know it’s the vast amount of sugar in my bloodstream and widening my hips. So I need to choose to eat healthier and pass on the dessert. And that’s where my weakness is…it’s so hard to say no! I confess to eating an entire box of Peanut Butter Patties all by myself this week. And half of another one. Grimace, but Girl Scout Cookies only come out once a year, and I had serious GSC withdrawal! So it’s back to the gym and finding Jesus’ strength in my own weakness to overcome the temptation of my sweet tooth. 

- a bag with a hole in it – Pennies turn into nickels. Nickels turn into dimes. Dimes turn into quarters. And quarters turn into dollars. Every week. Red Box movie here. (I love watching movies with my hubby while we unwind at the end of the day.) Fast food break there. (I don’t feel like cooking tonight. It’s been a long day.) I’m slowly overcoming this one, though. I’ve been praying for ways to save and still enjoy the time with my hubby, have a break from cooking for an hour every night, and to save money any way I can so we can become debt free over the next two years. And every once in awhile we have a “moment” where we slip up. But we don’t have to cringe over it. Using the library for movie rentals (they’re free for a week), using the crock pot for “cooks itself” meals. These are a couple of solutions to the spending craze problem. Fortunately, we don’t have credit card debt. Just the overwhelming student loan. And I’m waiting to see miracles happen as we put our moneybag in God’s hands.  

These are the things I’ve discovered hiding in my spiritual closet’s inventory. Have you cleaned yours out recently? It’s important to God.

“Keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be innocent of great transgression.” – Psalm 19:12-14

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