Monday, January 17, 2011

I Need More Friends

Ezra brought a form home from school last week. He wanted his father and I to approve his attendance in a socialization group at school. The guidance office had put together a group for kids who wanted to develop their friendship skills. And my son wanted to attend.

I found myself thinking proud thoughts of my son. He was taking initiative to overcome a problem spot in his character. He recognized his deficiency in an area and went about pursuing change. I admire his strength and courage.

"Mom, I want more friends. I want everyone in my class to like me." That's where it all began. 

Ezra has struggled with fitting in ever since we started moving with Vic's job. His sense of humor is odd. He's a little awkward when excited about something. He likes to hear himself talk, so he makes noises when he has nothing else to say. He has a compassionate spirit, which attracts bullies. He's sensitive, so everything hurts, and he needs a Band-aid for a scratch. Everything is a big deal to him. Because he cares.

I've tried encouraging him and feeding his need for acceptance, recognition, and companionship. I've pointed out how fearfully and wonderfully made he is, how great it is he cares for other people so much. I've pointed out that other kids may not see how good a friend he'd be. And I've fed him scriptures.

"A man who has friends must himself be friendly." Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV)

I thought back on my own childhood. The brunt of many jokes, I learned early in my life that friends were few and far between. Not everyone would like me. Not everyone would want to play what I wanted to play. Not everyone would treat me fairly. Not even close...

I tried explaining this to my son, who wants everyone in his class to like him and is taking measures to attempt making that a reality in his life. 

"We only have a few friends in life who stick closer than a brother, Ez. Not everyone will like us all the time. Friends will come. Friends will go. But there will always be a handful of friends who you'll keep in touch with forever. Five years may go by without a word, and then you'll talk for a day, and it'll be like you just spoke yesterday. It's these people who are your true friends. They're like family."

I know he gets it to some degree. He has a friend like that. His name's TJ. He sees him once or twice a year, but they've been best buds since toddler-hood. 

I have friends like that. Francesca, from college. Amanda, from childhood. Jeanne & Michelle, from "home." Mary, my new best friend. Years can go by without a word, but when we talk, it's like we spoke yesterday.

And then, there's Jesus. My best friend in the whole universe. He is there each and every moment of each and every day. His love never changes. I can talk to Him anytime. His friendship is irreplaceable, and He's closer than any brother or sister will ever be.

Who are your friends? Can you count them on one hand, like me and Ezra? Send them an encouraging note today, thanking them for their friendship. I'm sure it'll make their day!


  1. Ez has a great Mom, too!

    I have to say that I can count my true friends on one hand. I don't see them often and it's hard, but I know that they'll pray for me if I have a need.

    Just a note too...check on the Original Hebrew of your quoted Prov. verse. I was very amazed to find that it doesn't mean what I had always bears the thought of people with many friends are stretched thin through those various friendships - so it's rather a negative. The one we want is a Friend that sticks closer than a brother. Those are usually few and far between. Anyway, just wanted to mention, as I've done a study on it before. =) God bless!

  2. Anita,

    Thanks so much for alerting me to the Hebrew meaning of this verse! That is very interesting to me, too.
    I appreciate your input. :)

    ~ Alycia


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